I was unable to sleep that night. At first I thought that maybe I was too physically exhausted and my mind was unable to drift into sleep mode. So I began to count sheep, drank warm milk and studied my Economics text. It was futile. After playing a loud slow song that woke my grandmother up, I decided not to sleep. After all, I had to wake up early the next day for school.

It was, by then, four in the morning. Several windows outside my apartment were lightening up, getting ready for the day. I looked at my hand phone to check for new messages. There weren’t any. I frowned and sent “Good night, good morning, Mr. Ker” as a SMS to Jeff and went to bath.

Why the heck had I done that? For fun? No, in my dictionary, the word ‘fun’ had ceased to exist.

I spent the next two hours surfing the Internet, checking my hand phone, watching television, checking my hand phone again, playing games and checking my hand phone once more. At last, at six, I received a message. It was from Jeff.

Morning, Michelle! I m so happy. This is the 1st time u msg me. Thx!

I deleted the message and then spent the next ten minutes trying to restore deleted messages. There was no such function. Silly me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jeff was “acting” normal to me in school.

It was like yesterday’s conversation had never occurred. He put on his trademark smile to class as usual and joked his time off. When lunch break came, he bought me my drink and I could avoid the strangeness no longer. I asked, “Why are you acting so strangely today?”

“Strangely?” he said. “I’m not! I’m not even acting.”

“You are.” I retorted, wondering if I had just accidentally “cursed” him. After a considerably thought, I figured I had not so I continued. “You used to be so…” I stopped. It was not him. It was me.

I had suddenly wanted him to pay more attention to me. To talk to me more. To joke with me more. He was just being himself today. What was wrong with me?

“I’m sorry.” I said as I looked at my plate of rice, ashamed to face him. “So, when is the… appointment?”

“I’m calling them later.”

“You’ll… come with me, correct? As you promised?”

Although I was not looking at him, I knew he must have been showing me that toothy grin again. “I promise. I’ll come with you for every session. Every single session. Every…”

“Good. Good.” I said. “Really good.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hey, Michelle.”

I woke up from my doze. The lecturer’s droning voice was amplified to the entire hall. I took a few seconds to register my situation and looked up. It was Michael, one of my classmates who wrote the script for the play. He was sitting in front of me, his head turned. Jeff was snoring beside me, his cheek kissing the table.

“Hey, Michelle.” He repeated as if I was still napping. “You there?”

I nodded as an answer to his question.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

I nodded again. “Why?”

“Well, it’s because…”

Jeff sprang up from his sleep and grabbed Michael in the neck, standing up. “Don’t harm her!” he shouted.

His voice attracted the attention of the entire hall. All the students turned to look at him. The lecturer stopped talking and stared at Jeff with his eyes wide open, obviously surprised at Jeff’s commotion. All I did was to look Jeff in the eyes. Michael did not struggle. He was staring at Jeff, still stunned by his onslaught.

A few seconds dragged on. Jeff let go and sat down while Michael scratched his head. They did not exchange a single word. A few whispers from the students killed the silence.

“As you all can see, the point when demand is…” Strangely, the lecturer continued the lecture as if nothing had happened.

“Hey, Mikey..” Jeff whispered. Michael wheeled and faced Jeff. He did not seem afraid. “I’m sorry. I had a silly dream. You know, Mr. Tan’s voice can turn a sweet dream into a nightmare.”

“I know. I understand. That’s why I dare not sleep when Mr. Tan is lecturing. By the way, what dream did you just have? Who’s the ‘her’?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, who’s the ‘her’?” I asked as well. Must be out of curiosity.

“I… forgot. You know, you always forget your dreams.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah. Anyway,Michelle, I was able to ask you… are you okay?”

“What’s wrong?” Jeff and I replied together.

“Well, it’s just that… you’ve smiled five times today. And I’ve seen you smile less than ten times despite knowing you for more than six months. It’s a bit… unusual?”

“Well, Michael…” Jeff licked his lips in delight. “She’s going to smile more in the future. I promise you that.”

And all of a sudden, I smiled.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“It’s called the Child’s Guidance Clinic, commonly known as CGC. It provides neuroscience treatment, psychological and psychiatric services to people aged eighteen and below. It’s under the Institute Of Mental Health. The price is cheaper as the Government will subsidize a large portion of the cost. I’ve booked an appointment for you.”

Jeff passed me a sheet of paper. There was a map, a date and a time. “The clinic is in Singapore General Hospital. Pretty close to our school, so we’ll have no problem getting there after school. And this…” he passed me another sheet of paper. It was an official appointment letter issued by the Clinic. “We’ll need that to enter the clinic.”

“Isn’t that place meant to be for children?”

“No, that’s the misconception that most people have. The CGC also accepts teenage patients as long as you have the will to be cured. The age requirement is eighteen and below. And you qualify. Okay?”

I read the official appointment letter. The first appointment was for a Tuesday morning on which we had school.

“No worries about that. I’ve applied for an official leave from the school.”

“Official leave?”

“Well, on that day, we both will turn ill. And we’ll ‘buy’ MCs from doctors. Isn’t that official enough?”

I laughed.

“And when the doctor asks you to choose the next appointment date, give him a date where you and I can go together without skipping school. Okay?”

I nodded.

“Great.” As he was able to leave, I stopped him. “Huh?”

“Look, Jeff…” My eyes met his and I whispered, “Thank you. For everything.”

“My gosh, you’re close to tears.” He took a step closer to me and tapped my head. “Come on, it’s nothing much, okay? Cool it.”

“I…”

“Hey, Michelle ...” He turned serious. “You must understand, I’m doing this because I wanna help you, okay? I want you to believe in yourself and others. Just that. We cannot be a couple. You cannot be my girlfriend. I have my reasons. So, don’t you ever fall in love with me, okay?”

Moronic damned idiot! . Moron. Silly, damn, sick thick skinned freak!

“I’ll never fall in love with you!” I yelled back at the top of my voice. “I’ll never love you! And you!” I pointed at him in the chest, and then punched him in the chest repeatedly. “Don’t you fall in love with me! Don’t you turn back and tell me ‘I love you!’! You hear me, Jeff Ker? You hear me?! Me, Michelle Lim, will never, ever fall in love with Jeff Ker!”

“Cool down-” he whispered.

“And you, Jeff Ker, you’ll better don’t fall in love with me, coz’ I’ll never love you!” I gave him a final punch before I stepped back. My heart was beating a lot faster and my body was jerking up and down uncontrollably. “You cannot be my boyfriend! I have my reasons! Okay! Don’t fall in love with me!”

I turned and ran off. A few tears fell. And while I ran, I tore up the two pieces of paper that Jeff had passed to me.

Woots . What does that imply? Whats the reason behind Michelle's reaction? Stay tuned to FM lovingyouasalways .

Til then ,

Derrick , Signing off

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 (10:27:00 PM)

Phillipians Chapter 2 .

Imitating Christ's Humility

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Lord , May your blessings be upon all that come across You. May your love pour down on us , Of such like the rain. Father , i pray that you would continue to speak to me daily , to do your work as your servant. Lord , give me the words to speak as i share this Father whom loves me dearly to people who needs you too . Lord , i also pray for my friends who don't know you to experience you. Lord , Your name is exalted high . I will live my life for you. Discard my worldly ways! For I am your servant , not the world. When the day shall come where satanist will torture me , I will stand by faith in you . Lord , Come amidst of us . Come and show these gentiles .. That You are almighty and worthy of all praise . Lord , i thank you , Let the lives of youths be lead to You forever . Lord i pray for backsliders . I pray that you would begin to speak to them .. Touch them again just as You did , Let their faith arise for you glory ! Lord , we thank You and we give You all our praise .. In Jesus name i pray of all these , Amen.

Monday, September 10, 2007 (6:49:00 PM)

The anticipated Chapter!

Chapter 5

There was a long period of silence. I wiped my tears off but they kept on coming. Jeff stroked me gently on my back, as if it would help to stop my sobbing. In that moment, I really wished I would wake up in the comfort of my bed and realize that everything had just been a dream.

I guessed I had regretted telling Jeff everything. No one knew about all this except Landy. I had tried so hard to bury my past but Jeff’s persistence had caused me to dig it out. I pushed Jeff off, knowing I could not lay my head on his shoulder forever. To my surprise, he was wearing a smile, not at all surprised by my story.

“And you believe you caused the death of your mother? Because of the ‘curse’ that you have?” he said.

I nodded.

“Silly, Michelle. There’s a word known as ‘coincidence’. It just happened to be a coincidence.”

This time round, I shook my head. “A few days after my mother’s death, I had a quarrel with one of my friends. In the midst of the quarrel, I…” I paused again. It was hard to dig out a past that had been buried away for so long. “I said, ‘You’re so stubborn, your boyfriend is gonna leave you soon!’. And a few days later, her boyfriend broke up with her.”

“Well, two coincidences.”

“I once scolded a taxi driver for speeding. I said he would soon get into an accident if he continued to speed. He ignored my warnings and the next day, the newspaper reported that a taxi had smashed onto a tree. Luckily the taxi driver suffered no serious injury. I’ve always hoped it was just coincidences, Jeff. It’s not. It’s a curse. I’m cursed. Every bad thing I say will come true.”

“That’s the reason why you’re so quiet? So… introverted?”

I nodded. “More or less. Trust me, it’s not coincidences. There’s more examples of my curse. I dare not talk, for fear I may ‘accidentally’ curse others. It’s not my fault.”

Jeff bit his lip. A few seconds later, he mouthed, “I remembered you once said you’ve got friends outside JC. Is it true?”

“Just one friend. Name’s Landy. Strangely…” I stopped, wondering if I should tell Jeff about Landy or not. I thought, since I had already told him so much, why not tell him about Landy as well? “She isn’t affected by my curses. I had accidentally cursed her a few times but she seems to be immune to it. Nothing happens after my curses. Hence she has always been my best friend.”

I told him more about Landy, on how we first met and how she visited me frequently just for a chat. “My grandmother will open the door for her when I’m not in. However my grandmother always forgets she does that. She has poor memory and poor eyesight.”

“Landy must have been a good friend to come by for a chat.”

“Yeah.” I said, a bit annoyed by that pointless remark.

“So she knew about your ‘curse’ as well? And encouraged you to avoid talking to others?”

“That’s right.” I replied. “She had seen how people suffered under my curse. That’s the reason why she prefers me to keep quiet.”

“Okay…” Jeff muttered then closed his eyes, obviously trying to think of something to say.

I stared at his closed eyes. Why had I told him so much? Maybe it was to tell him the reason why I did not like the idea of the free-style play. Maybe it was also to tell him that my quietness was not my fault. Maybe to let him paint a better image of me in his mind.

“Remember your promise just now?” he suddenly said, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, believe in me now. Say this after me ‘I don’t have a curse.’”

“But I-”

“Remember your promise!” he exclaimed, cutting my sentence. “Now, repeat after me… ‘I don’t have a curse’.”

I guessed I just had to play along to humour him. “I don’t have a curse. Silly.”

“No! Just say ‘I don’t have a curse’. No ‘silly’ behind. Come on, try again.”

I shrugged. Was he childish or was I too matured? “I don’t have a curse.”

“Good. Now say ‘I am just having a minor mental illness that can be cured after seeing a psychiatrist.’”

“No!” this time, I yelled. “No, I, you… you-” I stopped myself at that very moment. I was going to say “you idiot”, but that would equal to cursing him. I just glared at him, wanting so much to scold him. “I’m not sick.” I sneered.

“Believe in me. Remember your promise? Believe in me! Say after me!”

“I’m not sick.”

“Believe in me. Believe me! You’ll not fail if you believe!”

“I’m not sick. I’m cursed.”

“Believe me!”

Once again, I fell into silence. Knowing that I would not win this argument, I said, “I don’t have a curse. I am just having a minor mental illness that can be cured after seeing a psychiatrist.”

Jeff nodded. “Good. I’ll call the shrink tomorrow, and we’ll book an appointment, okay? I’ll accompany you to the shrink.”

“What?!” I yelled instantly. “No way!”

“Look, Michelle, there’s still five more minutes to the hour. You should still believe me, alright? You need a doctor.”

“No I don’t!”

“Then prove it to me! If the doctor can’t cure you, then I’ll give up!”

I had never seen a shrink before. In my impression, a shrink looks like the beautiful Kelly Chen, the actress who acted as one in the movie “Infernal Affairs”. She would just listen and the patient will do the talking. The patient will feel better after taking some medication and he or she will be cured. Silly, isn’t it? How can anyone’s accumulated mental illness get better after saying everything and popping a few pills? I could not believe Jeff had just suggested I do that.

“No.” I said.

“I’ll go with you. Every appointment. Please.”

He would go with me? I pondered on that. For the longest period of time, I had always been alone. Now this silly weirdo had just proposed to accompany me for those silly appointments. I frowned, lowering my eyebrows to a V shape. Was he trying to break my routine?

“Are you trying to break my routine? Change my life?” I said my thoughts aloud.

“Yes. I wanna break your routine. I wanna change your life.”

This was getting sillier. I had been lonely for more than three years. What could he possibly do? I guessed the best he could do was to mess up my life. Like recommending me to see a shrink. Silly, silly Jeff. Really silly. Asking me to believe in him, to believe that he would be able to change my life…

“…for the better.” He added suddenly.

For the better? I stared up at the stars. Maybe I was trying to avoid him. But all of a sudden, I said, “When is the first appointment?”

It was my heart speaking.

He told me he had to check everything first. Upon our agreement, we climbed down the playground and made our way to the bus-stop. After waiting for a few minutes, we realized that it was close to one in the morning.

“Sorry, I don’t have enough cash with me.” He said.

“Me too.”

His face brightened up. “Then I’ll walk you home, and I’ll walk home after that!”

I wanted so much to smile. To laugh at his silly antics. However, I just nodded. We were at West Coast and my house is at Jurong Extension. It would take more than an hour’s walk.

We started the long walk talking about many things. This was the first time I had spoken so much to another person other than Landy since my parents’ deaths. Jeff said that he was the only child in his family. His father died of cancer when he was just seven; hence he had a very close relationship with his mother. He said he learnt a lot of things when his father was dying. He told me how precious life could be, and said that we all came into this world for a purpose. “Happiness and sadness are not caused by your surroundings. They’re caused by your thinking.” He verbalized.

When I asked him about his plans for the future, he gave me an answer that really surprised me. “My plans for the future? Make you smile. Do something meaningful.”

We reached my house about an hour later. He was totally exhausted. Beads of sweats blanketed his forehead, but he was still smiling despite the weariness. “I’ll call you.” He said. “I’ll call you and tell you when we’ll meet up for the appointment. I’ll… see you around, eh?”

“Yeah.” I said. I realized he still had a long way to go from my house to his house at Bukit Batok. “You want me to get some cash for you to take a cab?”

I had expected him to say yes. He was massaging his neck and looked as if he wanted to vomit. However, he maintained his pride and muttered, “No, I’ll walk home. It’s good exercise.”

“Well, good for you. See you.”

After he left, I took a bath. Landy was my room, sleeping soundly on my bed. After my bath, the doorbell rang. It was two in the morning. Who could it be? I looked through the hole in the door. It was Jeff.

“Hey…” he said, resting his back on the wall. His face was pale white, as if he had just seen a ghost. His lips seemed to be wet and he smelled of puke. “Can you lend me twenty bucks? I’ll return it to you tomorrow.”

I passed him the money. “Return me something else. Not the twenty bucks. Something else that is worth twenty bucks.” What was I saying? Sometimes, I felt that I said stupid things to him.

“Okay.” He saluted me and said, “I’ll return you something else. Something that twenty bucks can’t buy.”

With that, he ambled off. I stared at the last of his shadow before I closed my door, and I did something I had never expected myself to do.

I smiled to myself.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007 (2:52:00 PM)

Indian Thriller with English Lyrics!

This Indian try to act as Michael Jackson. The way he bops his head is just .. Priceless!

(1:22:00 PM)

I'll still be dere. ;D

Hey dere. xDD
Ytd i saw this ah ma so ke lian. Almost 12 oclock le still sitting near the bus interchange selling tissues.. so i decided to buy some from her. >< . And just nice today i have flu.so i can use them xDDWhenever i have flu , i can stack up mountains of tissues infront of my comp table LOL!
Hey.. anyways , Hey.. I miss you ..frankly speaking , i dont forget my feelings easily.. especially for you.
xDD . Anything happens i'll still be dere .If you seen anything wrong , dont misunderstand. Im still single for ur sake. hehes. i feel like im so stupid saying all these but .. i don't care anymore if you see this or not . Its been hidden in my heart for almost 2 years.I don't expect you to have anything for me anymore , But if your happy in ur life , im happy for you too! Trust me. I guess you know who you are.. Cell group ppl , stop guessing. Its not her. =) And i've alrdy make my stand clear that day at Jades.
Im happy ur leading ur own life. Just , don't become emo okay? It'll harm you. Stay happy as always ,
Derrick. I'll go rest for now xDDD

Sunday, September 2, 2007 (6:58:00 PM)

Chapter5

Chpt4 The deal with Landy

The taxi ride to West Coast Park took me fifteen minutes. By then, night had fallen and I had already stopped shedding tears. There were not many people around. Landy came an hour later and we climbed up the tall pyramid-shaped playground, lying on the ropes.

“You really want to tell him everything, don’t you?” Landy said. “Coz you feel like you’ve got a… bond with him.”

“He’ll get killed by me.” I whispered. “I don’t want danger to befall him.”

“But you really want to tell him about your problems. You really wanna tell him about your curse. I support you.”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, why not we play a game? If he’s here within fifteen minutes, you’ll tell him about your problems, okay? If not, we’ll sleep here for the night. Are you game for it?”

I looked up at the starless night. He would not be able to find me, I thought. “Deal.”

“Well then, I’m going down.” Landy reached down, grabbed the rope below and slowly made her way down.

“Huh?”

“Look down, my friend.” By then, Landy had reached the ground. She waved at me and I understood what she meant at the moment I looked down. Jeff, still in his uniform, walked past her. When he saw me, he smiled broadly and climbed up the ropes, flaunting his lean biceps. Within a few seconds he was sitting beside me.

“How did you know I was here?” I said. “Landy called you?”

“Who’s Landy?” Jeff shrugged and shook his head.

“The girl who just walked past you.”

“Did anyone walk past me just now?” he furrowed his brows. “I didn’t notice. I just saw you.”

“Then how did you know I’d be here?”

“I installed a tracer on your handphone. You know, like those tracers that secret agents use? I bought it on the black market. Cost me a bomb.”

I bit my lip and ignored his pointless remark.

“Michelle, can I tell you something?”

I nodded, stunned at his seriousness. He never usually bothered to request permission when he asked questions. What he had just said freaked me out. My eyes were fixed to the ground, my hand toying with the ropes that supported our weight.

“I know it’s one of the hardest things to do in the world… I know it’s like asking you to stuff your fist into your mouth or it’s like asking you to eat caterpillars but…” he paused. I shivered. Gosh, he looked really serious when he was not smiling. “Will you… will you, believe me?”

“Believe you?” I twisted my head, almost relieved. “What do you mean?” I was not expecting him to say something so simple.

“Lend me an hour of your time. In this hour, I really hope you can believe in everything I say. Will you?”

I clenched my hand into a fist, thinking hard. I then recalled the deal I had with Landy. “Okay, I believe. Now, what do you want to say?”

“Tell me about your problems. Michelle, you’ll not fail if you keep trying.”

“No! No one can help-”

“Michelle!” And he did it: He held my hand and cried, “Believe me!”

I shook my head a few times, trying hard to believe him. I will not fail if I keep trying? I had always been trying… but I always failed. I’d given up hope on everything, choosing instead to live in my own world.

A minute passed silently. I gazed fixedly at the starless sky. Time seemed to be crawling by callously. I grabbed a rope, preparing to leap down when Landy’s words came to mind again. With that thought, I looked up at Jeff. His eyes darted towards mine. It was then I realized he was still holding on to my left hand.

“Believe me.” He repeated as he released my hand. I felt a surge of loss. “What is the reason that causes you to be so reserved? How did your parents… pass away?”

Tears started to well up in my eyes. I wanted so much to lay my head on his shoulder but I feared he might feel uncomfortable. I shook my head a few times to hold back my tears. It was not an easy task. “I killed them.”

“Tell me more. Let me help.”

“You can’t help!” I yelled, my voice echoing in the quiet night.

“Believe in me!”

“You wouldn’t-”

“You have to be-”

“It’s too complica-”

“Believe me!”

“No one can help-”

“I can help you. I really can. Let me help, please. Believe in me.”

Somehow, my heart melted and I gave in.

“I was born into a perfect family. I had a father who drove a taxi and a mother who cooked for others.” I started, not daring to face him.

“That’s very good. Go on.”

“We lived simply, yet happily. My dad worked seven days a week. Every night, I would wait for my father to buy supper for us. The three of us would eat while watching television. That late night meal was the only time for us to be together. I would tell them about the new bully at school. They would teach me how to fight back.”

“You’ve got good parents.” Jeff cut in, obviously just to prove that he was still listening.But I darted at him "Would you let me finish my story?Or would you rather not hear it?" He immediately shooked his head . Jeff's reaction is funny , I laughed to myself.

“Life was perfect. Just so perfect. Until one day… one day…” Whenever the memories flowed back, I would choke on my tears. Jeff patted me on my back, encouraging me to keep my composure. I knew if I was to tell him about myself, I would have to overcome those memories. “One day… that day…” I took a long, deep breath. “It all happened.”

“The day started like any other day. My father ate his breakfast in a rush and then went to work. As usual, I yelled ‘Drive carefully, Dad’ to him before he stepped out of the house. I was in school, listening to the teacher telling us everything about how apples drop to the ground when I saw my mother outside the classroom.

“I remembered that day, we were supposed to have a spelling test yet I had forgotten to bring the exercise book. I thought my mother was just there to pass me my book. Little did I expect it to be something more than just a book.

“She grabbed my hand and we left the school. No words were exchanged. We went into a taxi, and when she cried, I sensed something was wrong. Then she hugged me, and I knew it was bad news.”

I paused. I needed a break from the bad memories flooding back. Jeff flashed his trademark smile and patted my shoulder. We stayed that way for a few more minutes.

“My father had died in a car accident. In his desperate attempt to fetch a passenger, he neglected his own safety. A lorry crashed his car. He died instantly. I was only twelve then. I cried everyday, waiting for my supper to come. But every night, only memories of my Dad came back. I could no longer tell him about the new bully that came to my school.

“My mother, strangely, indirectly blamed me for his death. She claimed that had I not told my father to drive carefully, he might not have died. It made no sense at all. With my father’s death, my mother quit her job and turned into a drunkard. She would return every night stinking of alcohol. I had no idea where she got the money.

“I was totally depressed with my broken family. I met a group of friends when I was in Secondary One in a stairway. They introduced to me ways to relax: smoking, drinking. I was lured in by the luxury of not having to care. I smoked my days away.”

“I cannot imagine you were once a smoker.” Jeff said.

“I was. Home was just a place for me to seek quarrels. I tried my best to stay away from my house. My mother would always call me names like ‘jinx’ or ‘bitch’, even in her sober mind. Finally, one day, I had enough. I put all my clothes into a bag and shouted to her, ‘I hope you’ll die in a car accident, just like daddy. And I hope you’ll get crushed by a big lorry!’ After that, I stayed in my friend’s house for two days.

“And two days later…” I was shuddering now, my tears rolling out like there was no tomorrow. I tried to brush them away but they kept coming. I felt like jumping down to the ground now, ending the ordeal once and for all. Jacky’s hand was still clutching mine. Without warning, he embraced me, his body warming me up. He was shuddering along with me. I dropped my head onto his shoulder and whispered, “Two days later, my mother was crushed by a big lorry. She died on the spot.”

---

CREDITS // who: decayedFairytale // what: xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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After turning into a dead webpage, I shall change all the brightly coloured, hearty blogskin to a vocally talented skin, Adam Glambert. I ain't gay, but I adore what he does to a song, and brings it to a whole new level. I'm currently a sec5 student , residing in Singapore. I am ATHEIST, but I do not condemn all religions. My principle is, If I do no harm unto others, and love other people, I deserve as much as anyone else to be let into heaven. ♥ :Jaejoong, Adam Lambert, Miyavi, Takanori, PARK HYO SHIN, Steven Tyler, Angela Glasgow, Junsu
Natsuki - Ane Dokii , Yami - To LOVE- Ru, Tsunade - Naruto.
I spend time on music, comics, hanging out partying til morning. Vodka, Kahlua, Baileys, rainbow, heineken, carlsberg, kirin, sake, BRING IT. This is my personal page, with personal messages. If you are offended by anything I said, I do not apologize because I have my own freedom of speech. I doubt I'd see clowns here, but who knows?
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