Chocolate Mint.™

2010-05-07T19:45:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone, I have moved ! Please go to

www.ScarlettRoosevelt.wordpress.com!

2009-12-27T16:29:00.000+08:00

I HAVE MOVED,

HeraVocalist.blogspot.com

2009-09-22T22:04:00.002+08:00

I read up an interesting article on a Singaporean based forum.
It goes like this ..
" David* and his fiancee Meryl* were supposed to get married on 20th September 2009*. They have been dating and finally decided to tie the knot . However, David* incidentally found out that Meryl*, and her ex-boyfriend were still in contact and were meeting each other often. This thus aroused David's* suspicion and he started to trail behind her, which to his dismay, realized that Meryl* was actually meeting her ex-boyfriend to go to a budget hotel on the day before they were supposed to get married. He then proceeded to catch them in the act amidst having sex. "

"How should I console him?"

I took the problem and wrote it into a scenario, which was originally posted by David's* best friend, the best man for the wedding. He is asking for advice if he can help to console David* in any way.

If this happened to you, what would you do?
Personally, I'd feel very betrayed and I'd really be very upset. I won't know how to face up to life and relationships anymore. I hope David* can stay strong and carry on with life and not dwell too much with unfaithful Meryl*.

I feel so sad for him, but I am powerless as a stranger.

2009-09-21T15:39:00.004+08:00

Today, I'm gonna spend some time at home.

That is because
i) I have no Moneh.
And because I have no Money, i can't do crap . Maybe I'll just go down later for some basketball-ing if the weather doesn't shit on me.

ii) All of my closer friends either are MIA or busy.
Yep, thats right. But its okay, I should have some time alone and do my own things.
I'd choose to stay at home rather than go out with friends whom I'm not close to, simply because it'll be pretty repetitive(the things we're gonna do) .

iii) Although I'm gradually feeling better about myself, I still don't have the mood to be out and laughing about . Darn, things got pretty boring these days.

Just recently, I re-discovered Daughtry's songs. And I kinda feel that the song genres suit my voice, just singing at the top of my lungs expressing emotions.
I also got addicted to Park Hyo Shin's - Snow Flower.
As well as Steve Perry/Arnel Pineda's - Open Arms
G-Dragon's - Har- har -har -har heartbreakerrrrrruh
Dong Bang's - Evergreen ( Re-addicted)
Check out Park Hyo Shin's hairstyle.

2009-09-20T10:56:00.008+08:00

Today is Sunday, and I'm going to attend music class.
I hope everything can proceed smoothly.
Life and its creator can be annoying at times, playing jokes with you.
I guess all these just makes me stronger.

Ever since that day, my emotions have been majorly negative.
I don't know how to face myself,
I want to run away from the problem.

but I'll soon face it, like a man.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
想太多

你笑著說他是朋友
但你眼中太溫柔

我的不安那麼沉重
只有你不懂

他霸佔了你的心中
屬於我的角落
所以你說我們不是你和我

是我想太多你總這樣說
但你卻沒有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也這樣說
這是唯一能安慰我的理由

我想我沒有錯怪了什麼雖然你不說
或許錯在我太晚我才懂愛了你太多

是我想太多你總這樣說
但你卻沒有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也這樣說
這是唯一能安慰我的理由
---------------------------------------------
Speaks to me, speaks to my emotions, speaks to my life.

2009-09-17T17:55:00.005+08:00

Today, I went for a walk alone.
I needed some time alone, some time to let loose.
Its been such a long time, since I left the loud lifestyle.
I've always hated loneliness, I hate even the likes of it.

But I thank loneliness for finding time for me to think about stuff.
I have so much emotions I want to express, so many feelings of being upset, being insignificant.
There are days when I wake up and I run through so many thoughts,
It feels really painful,
but I still have to carry on with life.

I have to put my emotions aside and be really cheerful.
But its really tiring, because no one truly understands.
I'm tired of always giving.
I am always the one, making the effort to do things when others just rely on me.

I need a shoulder to rely on.
I need a shoulder to cry on.
I need someone to talk to me, and make me laugh.
I need someone who really cares
Someone to understand who I am.
I try my best, to make the best out of every outing, out of every conversation.
But I need to rest.
I need someone to carry my burdens, and make my day.

Its just one of the days you feel like going to the beach to scream your lungs out.

I ask myself, who is there to make an effort, for my benefit and to make me feel better?

To give to others is considered a blessing, but I cannot give all the time.

I am so exhausted....

Christianity

2009-07-11T19:03:00.004+08:00

I remember in the past when I used to be a Christian, I used to be someone who was proud of what I had believed in. It was because I was told, "Christianity is perfect. Christianity is the only one correct religion and our God is and will always be the only one God."

I was told that God is all loving, all forgiving and gives love unconditionally.
I was told that God is miraculous and in times of need, He will be there to help you.
Ask God, He will give you if what you ask for is necessary.

I used to be in a community which gave me a very good impression. I thought everybody there was loving, humble and real. I believed in these things I was told. I was told City Harvest is not a good church, because the people don't dress modestly. They were skimpily. I was told that New Creation church is a nonsensical church because they do not believe in tongues.

When I was a proud Christian, I remember that I had hurt a lot of people.
I saw a quote once which said something like ,"Christianity means accepting that we are weak as humans, and need God. Christianity means telling God that I want to be humble because I am worth nothing.

I said, " I totally agree. "
Then I went back to being a proud Christian, going around demonizing other religions.
"You stupid people, pray to statue. You stupid people, only know how to wear turban."
It was even as stupid to follow in sylvester's footsteps to point downwards at the Guan Yu statue and tell God to send lightning to strike it.

But all these are in the past now. Nobody told me the down sides to things about Christianity. Nobody told me about the flaws. I was told God kills because of their sins. I didn't want to question further because I told myself that I have faith in God and having faith means believing without seeing. The thing is, my problem is entirely not with the religion. But the patterns I follow in church. I was influenced to make decisions as I was told to, and I thought I was right. I thought, I will never leave God and YI. I said, " YI is the best church in the world," without going to other churches. I condemned other churches because they believed different things.

Anyone from YI, you say that is not the way God or the church is.
But this was what I learnt. I only did this because I was taught to.
However, I must admit that it is not entirely everyone Else's fault. I am also to blame. For not using my brains to question, for not being sensitive enough.

If this means anything at all, I apologize to the people I have hurt and said to you anything insensitive. I went to Sylvester's blog and I admit, I agree with certain points. I said honestly what was my feelings on the tagboard, but I got condemned by a fellow Christian that I have no faith.

Let me ask Christians. Did God teach you to retaliate to every insults?
YI taught WWJD, What would Jesus Do.
Did Jesus, along the way to cruxifiction, being spat upon and being insulted retaliate in any way? When He was cruxified, did he condemn the soldiers that they had no faith?
He even prayed for them.
Can you at least do what you preach?

I am not challenging your Christianity, but I just want logical explainations .
I am not condemning your religion, but I just want you to prove me otherwise, that Christianity is right. If you cannot even do that, don't tell me to believe that what you believe is right.

2009-07-05T21:31:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I went to Lido with stupid takanori to watch a new movie.

ICE AGE !

It was funny but not very very funny, to me. Its not those kind of laugh out loud comedy but rather a light hearted film to cheer you up. It was enjoyable and I'd rate it an overall of 7/10.
As I am not a cartoon movie fan, this flick has rated very well already.
I remember in the past, Benedict made our clique watch bee movie at the cinema.
I tell you, it was the most time wasting film, not even worth being made a movie or be shown in the cinemas. Bee movie in short, was a failure and it not only wasted my time, it made me avoid all kinds of cartoon movies in the cinema.

Simon Pegg and his character BUCK was my favourite.
His loony yet fun to be with character has made the whole film a lot more enjoyable.
With his somewhat sarcastic humor, this guy made my day.

My aunt came from from HK! She bought me some clothes.
I also thought of an interesting question.
Are you a trendsetter or a follower?
Do you follow the crowd or do you have your own opinion?

A trendsetter thinks for himself what is best, while facing the fact that he might be ridiculed because his opinions differ from others and may seem weird from other people's point of view.
A follower does not dare to voice out any objections while following majority opinions. Very common bandwagons who simply think that if most people think this is right, there has to be some reason that people have such beliefs. However, although he might blend into the crowd, he will not stand out as an individual.

What do you think?

current celebrity crush :

Dorky leader Taeng - Kim Tae Yeon!

Regret

2009-07-04T13:01:00.003+08:00

How many things in life have you done and truly regret? I bet you cannot finish counting even with all your fingers and toes. I was on msn with claudia last night until like 1 or 2. And we reminiscent about our pasts and what we were like. And I recalled many many things.
The days when I used to be so engrossed in computer gaming, where I met many people.
Haha, I honestly don't know whether I should be glad that I meet these nice people, or should I lament about how much time I've actually wasted. I know, I've always been the jerk. So if I was insensitive anyhow, you know me.

Recently, I've been very addicted to songs by Aerosmith and Bon Jovi. Old time classics !
I want to practice on these songs . The crowd would be familiar with these songs.

shot through the heart, and your to blame .

you give love, a bad name !

I wanna be a rocker !

Current celebrity crush :
Kim Tae-hee

I'm melted away by her sweet, charming smile.

Growing Up

2009-06-20T17:01:00.003+08:00

In life, everyone has to go past this moment at least once.
Its called "Being a dick ."

I used to remember times where I was just plainly being an asshole saying insensitive things making situations very awkward. I know, I still can be somewhat a jerk at times. But I'm sure the people reading this would agree as well, that everyone has been a douche or is a douche.
I remember saying things which spoiled the whole mood, doing things .

The best is, I remember once my friend was showing me a singer singing this song.
He told me that it had a lot of difficulty and is a very hard song. But I heard it and being the jerk, I said actually its quite easy. I then carried on to try to sing it and ended up off tune. Well, life is inevitable. I know millions of people has had thoughts that if there were a time machine for them to go back and correct their past mistakes, they would be such a better person. But I think life is life, and what is done is done.

I seriously hope that I will think before I talk and really start to grow up.

lovely Yejin , don't leave Family outing please

Melancholy

2009-04-12T13:18:00.006+08:00

I always hated sundays .
The reason being is that, its like a day God created to remind me how fast time goes by.
It tells me of how little 24hours can be.

Everyone I wake up to a sunday morning, I give a huge sigh and say
"Its sunday again.And soon, it will be monday and everything starts all over."

I find that sundays past by especially fast and today is of no exception.

However, somehow I look forward to studying for mid years :)

My new passion

2009-04-09T14:23:00.002+08:00

Since primary school days, I have known this sport.
It gave me a sense of achievement and It is something I love.
But after some time, I grew tired of it and I started to "ponteng" training
It was because i wanted to play DotA with my friends, I missed valuable time for training.
If only, If only I had practiced much more, I wouldn't be only what I am now.

However, I have renewed my passion. My love for this special sport is back.
I am determined to play it better than what I played in the past.
To put it short, Basketball & Lebron James served as a great inspiration.
Although it is hard, I will struggle and WILL succeed in juggling mu studies and training for both Basketball and my vocal lessons .

One day, I will dunk in someone's face and say " This is my hard work ."

This is my resolve and I shall look back at the end of the year .

I LOVE MARCHE VIVO CITY!

Sunday nights.

2009-03-29T19:43:00.004+08:00

After waking up from a short nap, I found myself longing so much, so much to eat ,

Teppan Saba Fish hotplate.
Fresh from the kitchen, the sizzling sauces and the distinct aroma causing everyone to look to your direction. Soon, you'll realise all the people are running towards your direction shouting, "NOOOOOOOOO!" as the stall keeper hands you the hot plate and..

Okay, now for the serious part. Today morning I went swimming at the Jurong West sports stadium which was the one that our school held sports heats at. After the swim, although tired, I was more hungry. So dad drove and by the time I realize it, I was standing clueless infront of a Korean cuisine stall. In the past, I might stand there for maybe 10 minutes to decide what I wanna eat and still might not be able to make a decision. However, I knew what I wanted at the first glance of the menu. I thought the fish would have lotsa bones and whatever and I was prepared. BUT, I was pleasantly surprised that it had none and tasted like nothing I've ever ate. The sides of the fish slightly crispy, the meat tender with a very good fusion of teriyaki sauce and lime juice, I almost died at that instant. On a scale of 10, I rate Jurong point banquet's Teppan Saba hotplate a 8/10 because it has spaces for improvement and I really loved the kimchi. Some "authentic" Korean restaurants serve their kimchi ah .. makes me wanna spit out at the first taste . But their kimchi was just nice , although it would be best if fresher .

Putting the review aside, after I woke up, I realise something.
I looked out the window and I see the yellow lightings from other houses, the sky was dark and it looked deep as if the sky went higher .Time passes so quickly . I remember waking up lamenting about how its going to be sunday night again and how much I wish sunday nights last but .. it seems tomorrow is monday and its school again. Like my parents always say , you can enjoy life when you get a good job in the future. I say, a mediocre job that earns me enough is good enough . As long as I can be comfortable it will satisfy me . Because when I look at the fathers of a lot of well off kids , those who earn tons of money are those who don't have time for their family. You can disagree to that because im just saying in general .I'd rather pay money for time with my family than have money and realise at the end of the day that all you did was slog your guts off working for more money and you have nothing else.
I wish that time, can slow down. Increase the time for everybody because .. 24 is too little to be enough . In a blink of an eye, the clueless Derrick in sec 1 is now sec 4 . Soon , I'll find myself in the army . For me, the scariest things in life are not ghosts or cockroaches but things like , finding that I am getting old and that time is running out for me.

I guess.. I'd feel better after a nap .

All I can say is , wow .

2008-12-14T19:49:00.002+08:00

After a long time ,

I can tell people proudly that I saw something other than dongbangshinki that left me speechless.
Brian McKnight .

After all the MIA

2008-12-09T14:14:00.007+08:00

hey people . I finally found time to drag myself here to post something new . But I'm just going to share some stuff today . Like this video that puts a smile on my face because of the nonsensical things NoKy brothers do

Check this out : From Dong bang shin ki's Micky and Yunho , hahaha song !

Cosbt peeps , Don't you think Micky (The one who plays with the horse and grows his pit hair out) resembles kong sheng? ._.

Anyways , Did a few singing events over singapore . Serangoon , chong pang(Yishun) and theres few more coming up , 21st , 24th and 25th . At i think chinatown and places like that .For every event , i get $30 . So :))) I want to do more events because I just need to sing like 2 songs and slack with nonsense people there and I get paid . I promise to post photos of my rehearsals and events on my next post so , stay tuned . I'm going to watch hahaha song again . xD

NoKy brotherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!

tagged by Dongsaeng

2008-11-09T12:59:00.004+08:00

1.) What is the relationship of you and her/him?
- One of my first few dongsaengs

2.) Your 5 impressions towards her/him?
- Pretty .
- Smart .
- Hardworking? (Always on hiatus to study)
- Hilariously blur sometimes .
- Chunnified .

3.) The most memorable things she/he had done for you.
- Letting me use my current blogskin when she found it instead.

4.) The most memorable things she/he have said to you.
- hwaiting !(fighting)

5.) If she/he become your lover, you will..
- Hmm , I think I will take her to a romantic place with a green scenery ahead of our seats under the shelter . ( Probably some soccer game)

6.) If she/he become your enemy, you will...
- Take her to a soccer game .

7.) If she/he become your lover, she/he has to improve on..
- She has to improve on her soccer tolerating time span.

8.) If she/he become your enemy, the reason is...
- She says that yoochun is hotter than my joongie

9.) The most desirable thing to do on her/him is?
- Take her to a soccer game.

10.) The overall impression of her/him is..
- Friendly-ish blur-ish good dongsaeng of mine.

11.) How do you think the people around you feel about you?
- Random

12.) The character of you for yourself is?
- I'm random and I'm being myself !

13.) What do you hate about yourself?
- My overspendings

14.) The most ideal person you want to be is?
- I want to be an original . But if I really have to pick , I want to be able to Sing like Jaejoong and cook like jaejoong and stuff like that .

15.) For the people who care about you and like you, say something to them
- When you hang out with me , I'll try my best to make the day more fun .

People to tag:

1. Yixiang (Since your blog you say going to die )
2. Hirary .
3. Joyce .
4. Sunmi(wg)
5. Jaejoong
6 Yoobin(wg)
7. Junsssuuuu
8. YeEun(wg)
9. JYP
10. LeeSooMan.

Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
- OH , I know i know . Some random guy down the street xD

No. 3 a male or a female?
- LOL , er .. Lemme think . I think "its" a female .

No. 7 and no. 10 were together, would it be a good thing?
- Oh no. I prefer TaeSu okay .

How about no. 5 and 8?
- AHHH , Cannot la ._. But if they are , their child will be very pretty or handsome and sings very well .

What is no. 1 studying about?
- He's probably stalking some girl . No la , I think hes studying about some cat video on youtube.

Is no. 4 single?
- I hope so hahaha sunmi !

Say something about no. 6
- Shes so hot that shes the reason you get all feverish .(Gimme one time baby -Tell Me )

Random day

2008-10-31T14:32:00.012+08:00

Amidst all the sian-ness today , I became random after a few chats on msn . HAHAHAHAH , i like to repeat to myself " neh mind neh mind neh mind mind neh neh neh neh mind mind mind neh mind neh mind neh neh mind mind mind neh neh mind" . Okay scratch that , btw Practicing facial expression is really fun ! Like now i pout from time to time without logical reasons .Okay I'm having my lunch now but eww , the raddish egg omelette or how you spell it , its so saltish I'm having a hard time . I'm getting so much cough and phlegm I can't sing properly . Its embarassing when you sing so loudly at home then you go off pitch . Nevermind . I think i'll post some old pics of mine hahaha i miss my old hair style .

Malcolm and ME

Hilly , xinyi and Me

At my toilet camwhoring

I also saw this at Winnie's blog .

Yesterday .

2008-10-16T11:12:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a stupid but fun day .
It was super cool that yesterday was off day to all ycss students because it was promotion day .
My results are so cmi .. but luckily I got through . I guess I shouldn't take my studies for granted anymore and start to put in effort .

English -
I didn't take my mid year because I saw the wrong date on the calander . I also thought that it was normal school lesson so i pontan -. -" THEN END UP IS ENGLISH PAPER . and I had no mc .
So I got 0 for midyear and the overall was 20+ . But what made me stab myself several times was the fact that I got 74 and it was only 1 mark away from A1 . NOT ONLY THAT , the overall for it was pulled down UNTIL A DRASTIC 50+ . I was literally pulling out my hair when I heard that from mr. phua . Then he tell me ," We let you pass English you can *tou xiao* le lorh".Well , at least I didn't feel so bad after that ..
Back to what happened yesterday .
In the morning nothing to do , rot at home do nothing . MSN chat and stuff .
"WAH SIAN " (my favourite phrase for any occasions)
Rain until like siao . I had to go to westmall to eat sakae with xiang , veivei and vinnie .
We thought it was winnie de birthday la , but end up was on sunday -. -" But nevermind we eat . When I reached , guess who I saw . teemootee and mooen .Okay its timothy and muEn.
okay nevermind that was random now you 2 have names related to mellimoo .
SO we ate so much and laughed so much and then we went to timo's house to slack . Watched the pursuit of happyness .*Happiness . The small kid's acting is so good la , hes actually will smith's real son . Muen says he might do a asian remake of this movie and im looking forward to it .Then after that I headed home , came online to see if anyone good to chat with was online , but "wah sian" no . So I went to die on my bed . But my alarm was set to pm .. so i wasn't in time to revive for school today . I guess that is yesterday ..

I'm so going to swensens (Although I haven't been there in a long time ).

My winter vacation resolutions

2008-10-12T21:40:00.005+08:00

guess what guys ! It's the winter - cum - summer vacation eve in SINGAPORE ! wooooooo~
okay I guess I was over-reacting but who care ! woooooooooooo~
Recently , things has been fine and peaceful. But it is so peaceful that its gotten boring .

Jagjit

Also , a cellgroup member from my church has been heavily persecuted for his faith .He was abused by his parents because of being a Christian. As he came from a sikh family(Punjabi people who wears turbans) , his father used violence against him . On one night when we were confronted by his father . he got so angry he slapped my friend on his face 10 times , until his palms were hurting . Also , his father isn't a small guy . If to make a comparison , he is larger than me . his father confiscated his phone , laptop , wallet and even his room's light bulb and aircon . his parents also stopped giving him any money and terminated his poly studies and decides to send him to army . But he still stands strong in his faith because he has experienced God . I don't know the exact words but he said something like this " I know God is real and I feel His peace ." After that confrontation , we thought it would be best for him to stay at home first until his dad cools down , but he said something else which encouraged me. "God is my everything . He is before my education , my bed and my room . How long can my dad beat me ? Even if so I still want to be a Christian"
Thats so powerful .. I did not expect him to say these things because he is only a 4months old Christian .This shows that God is evident in our life .He doesn't mind being killed .

Resolutions
- To lose a weight to targeted 75kg
- To read and finish at least 1 Christian book
- To master the usage of diaphragm for singing
- Save and discipline my spendings
- Discipline my thought life
- To get into Z3 , my church band
- Do spring cleaning for my room and house
- Celebrate people's birthdays
- Get a new harversack
- Learn how to cook medium well steak
- Get promoted to performer rank in HikariMusic school
- Prepare cards to all my teachers to express my gratitude for bearing with my nonsence
- Learn how to do the "malay english slang" like timo
- Learn how to do the "filipno tagalog english slang" like timo
- Let more people know about the love of Jesus
- Train well for my basketball cca
- Number 10 Jersey
- Learn to do chores
- Cook for my family
- Cook for friends who request
- Bake a complete "prima deli" standard cream cake
- Ask God whether I should go to Korea for singing

WHOA , a lot horh . But I'm sure I can finish it . Hahaha , this will help me make use of amy time during the holidays and not waste anytime . Reproductive right . I can forsee that people will call me "House husband" soon . But oh well , I'm so going to swensens .

My music life

2008-09-29T19:07:00.002+08:00

hey peeps , Its me . I'm finally back after a short semi-hiatus because of my exams . But here I am to update this place full of cobwebs .

Recently in vocal class , I've been learning how to master my diaphragm usage . But things aren't going so smoothly .. I've also been learning how to input emotions into the song . Check out the new song on my blog . Thats one of the songs my teacher wants me to sing .

Sometimes when I go to class and I realize my mistakes in singing , I sometimes feel that I'm just so lousy . Sometimes I'd wish this vocal of mine would be so much more talented .Well , I guess I shouldn't be coveting .My vocal has been hurting itself all the time after singing ..
The problem with me is that , when I get too engross with the song , I'd challenge myself to a higher pitch , thus resulting in strain in my vocals .

Sometimes when I look back at my attitude in learning and how much I practice , I really feel very regretful . So much in a sense that , I think I've been too proud of myself recently . I haven't really experienced these problems before but I think I have self esteem problems.
It's either I get really proud of myself or I feel really inferior . I want to go back to the days of my Yuan ching got talent attitude , being humble and ready to accept advice .I realized that on the path that I am walking , I need the right attitude .

Besides that , I've been thinking a lot . A lot about how I am going to Korea and whether it is in God's plans to bless it . SM entertainment .. Its really a headache . The only problem now is that National service is in my way . Not that I'm going in in the next 3 years or so but like .. 2 YEARS inside , and I have to come back every year at a random date to have re service .Well , thats that .

Derrick ! Be HUMBLE , you can do it !

Complaints and rants .

2008-09-03T09:18:00.006+08:00

*If you are gonna read my post , please be prepared for complaints. only*

These issues has always been on my mind for a long time but I never found the time to voice it out .
Actually , sometimes we make comments that really hurt people a lot but never realize it until that person shows his feelings .So next time if you want to make a negative comment , think again .
And please , please don't make negative comments about that person in his face at the start of the day because that one small sentence or word can ruin one's whole day .If you really really need to say something negative about someone , evaluate what is your motive . To correct him , teach him or purely just to put him down . If you can't decide or don't know if what you are going to say will hurt the other person or not , please don't say anything to avoid being in an awkward situation and causing irreversible hurt .
Another thing , don't think sorry can help in any sort . In certain situations , sorry does work very effectively. But in some situations , sorry is just useless .When the damage has already been caused and the person is already hurt deeply ,no matter how much regret and "sorry" is just useless .

- "Why you wear until like that ?"
I've once heard this comment from someone and it actually ruin my day .I totally hate it when people comment about what you wear . If its to change how you wear it or stuff , good . But this was obviously to put you down .
-it then followed with "I think who and who wear this nicer than you"
Then WHAT do you expect me to do? Throw it away ? Burn it? Or you want me to go plastic surgery?
I felt terrible then because a friend who was quite close was this insensitive . (And they said guys were insensitive)But even after the comparing , there was more . She wanted to keep on harping on her craps until I finally stopped her .(Girls , never compare a guy to another guy .)

(I did not only receive such crude remarks from ONE person . So if you know who you are and how much hurt you receive , all I ever ask for is for you to reflect on your own actions and change .FYI , any reader who can relate yourself to my incidents , all I can say is forgive and forget . For people who had been giving such remarks , it is not too late to change .)

I know sometimes people have the purest of intentions
But I also know who doesn't .
PS. I also know who speaks without using their brain .

19th of August 2oo8

2008-08-19T21:49:00.006+08:00

Today was kinda , action packed . Speaking of which , I'll start by saying what happened during school today . Morning , arrived school punctually .But , soon after the national anthem , Mr Gomez (my vice principal)came and pointed at me with his usual charm and craps like that . Okay cut the long story short , my hair was caught . "Send him home" those were his exact words ."I told him many times already" and these are the words from my form teacher . Well I guess that was the doomsday of my jaejoong wannabe hair . Its not really jaejoong-ish but i needed to grow it long enough to cut it jaejoong-ish . I also remember my conversation with my form teacher in the office .

"You know I have to cancel all my lessons because of you?" With the usual look
"Sorr.. "
"Don't tell me sorry ." Then walked off

I guess I deserved it . After MUCH conviction from God , I finally decided to do it . It was a difficult decision which had a life on the line , but I had to do it .
First of all , headed to JE library to study with jagjit but saw some noisy people(:D) . Then , God blessed and I found a quiet place .
Then headed to botak jones (Bukit Batok) with jagjit and had the usual CAJUN CHICKEN !
And oh well , "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do ."
Train-ed to Jurong point for my haircut .
I told him , straight cut (Like taemin ._. ) But he did a slant(Fringe) -. -" So I went ahead with a slant.
But after all , I pretty like the nerd effect he did for me .
Okay ! That was my day . God bless and I'll see you next week on , Channel 5 .
alright you can scratch that .

"Looks good!

"it really does"

"zzz Why the SAUCE so little one?"

"Dude , be patient man .Take a chill pill.*Smirks* "

(G-Dragon pose on HaruHaru!)
"crap I think my tooth just popped out"

"Doesn't matter . *Continues to camwhore*"

Class conflict?

2008-08-07T15:00:00.005+08:00

Today , I headed from school back home feeling heavy and kinda crappy . There was a conflict in my class between me and the Malays .I'm not a racist and I never will be .
But this incident really let me see a part of ourselves which is deeper .Listen guys , you have your part of the story and I have mine too , so don't create a stir and see what I have to say .Okay , the situation was like this .Tomorrow , (08/08/08) which is a Friday , our school is holding a carnival for the NDP celebrations . Every class had to have a small store .For us , initially we planned on doing games .But later on , I couldn't think of any ideas and I think that the prizes weren't attractive enough .So we later on decided to sell back brownies which we did earlier this year for CNY carnival .I also suggested we sell something called sweet and spicy chicken drumlets which were similar to what pizza hut is selling .Heres something to make a start if you are totally clueless about what it is .

But soon , One of the group's member came and gave me "the big news" . "Hey I think we can't do the drumlets because we don't have enough funds .I think we should do banana fritters.AND the news came 2 days before the carnival ."(Example)

And , I couldn't change the whole drumlet concept . Lemme tell you why .We could afford it if we tried to raise the money and the only person who really knows the location of the shop which sells that drumlet recipe is my grandmother . She knows that I needed it and she isn't free to go today . So she went earlier by 1 day to stock up .She went on Wednesday which is yesterday .It is also the day my class told me about their plan to change the food to banana fritters . Because my grandmother knew we needed it ,so she got up early in the morning at around 6 to go and buy .So there was no choice . My class gave me too short a notice.2 days before the actual day then they inform me . And now , what do I get?I get told off because I already bought the drumlets . I get blamed and accused for acting on my own decision? What if I didn't go and buy earlier and they ran out of stock or something? Wouldn't the situation be worst? And then because I wasn't racist , I got you Malay guys to come and help me instead of the Chinese because I trusted you guys and know that you guys would work together with me . But now is that my fault that I already bought the stuff? I am not trying to force my opinion on you guys . I am not deciding things on my own like Mr Phua says . Even Mr Phua doesn't understand . Maybe you guys think I did things purposely but how long have you guys worked with me?Didn't I handle the last carnival as well? I really feel disappointed and stuff to see you guys gang up to blame me . I told Mr Phua "I don't mind paying out of my own pocket to buy all the 12 packets that I've bought earlier . I don't mind paying that $108 as long as we are united as a class . But I guess you guys just misunderstand me you all even ganged up to not pay for the class fundings for carnival .This is my share of the story .

PS. Maybe you guys don't trust me because I'm Chinese . I'm not a racist but let me ask you , Have you all taken into consideration that I am not of the same race as you guys thats why you did stuff that way? "I saw you guys checking the envelope when I returned the money to you guys.I saw you all trying to check if the amount was correct and not taken away . I've seen it all . Why would I cheat you? I'm utterly disappointed ."

She is scared .. OF BALLOONS

2008-07-25T14:56:00.004+08:00

In this reality program , it actually talks about very shocking and thought provoking issues . This is what I find most amusing . A girl came into this show saying shes traumatized over PICKLES , which in other words , Cucumber . I'd understand if it was pickles because maybe she had a sick father or stuff but crap this woman is afraid of BALLOONS . balloons are like the most awesome thing I've ever owned during my childhood and shes afraid of it .From the sight of it to the way it floats she is scared , to death literally . Well , heres a nice mv by Dong Bang Shin Ki titled "Balloons" .

Balloons -

Now and forever ~

2008-07-19T10:40:00.002+08:00

now and forever (low quality) - derrick

Now and Forever - Me

This song is the song I sang for my arts fest . The sound quality sucks because I used a phone recorder hahahas . Anyways , this is only the first rehearsal and also the first time i sang this song . So i couldn't really catch the timing and missed some parts . If you hear someone singing along with me at the later parts , check this out "its mr. Leung ."
Guess what , I'm back to basketball again . This time , for good I hope .Been hanging out with daniel and gang playing basketball and stuff . The team has improved like .. a lot . Jingguang daniel and chinleh are accurate at shots , gucci can "eat" and grab rebounds , Jeremy has gotten better at attacks , Linus now dare to shoot more . Sometimes I lose to chinleh and linus at grabbing rebounds . Looks like I need to practice a lot more and build up my physique .
Oh , and by the way , my ycgt path isn't over yet , unfortunately .
I've received a few tasks by teachers asking me to perform for national day and teacher's day .For national day , I've got to perform 4 songs on national day with the other 3 got talents and I've to perform for teacher's day alone but fret not , I've got Lokmun to accompany me . So Lokmun fans have something to look forward to again . We've decided to sing More than Words . Westlife has covered this song before so you can look up this song on imeem . Sides , I'm going to skip the camp and attend church service because I know whats more important . especially at this critical stage .

Oh and for the song , constructive criticism please and please , don't bash me . I might not be well to your liking but if you've got some comments that is for making me feel bad , It'll be deleted .

I've also decided to let God decide my future and trust all unto Him . I want to find the love I had for Him . These few days without God , I feel empty and my heart aches all the time . Because I tried to use something else to fill my vacuum in my heart , I failed .

LASTLY
ATTENTION : Looking for a able to play guitarist , basist , keyboardist and a drummer . Must be committed to the band and practice often for songs we're going to jam on . For more info , leave a tag or contact me . Only applies to Singaporeans or foreigners living in Singapore permanantly :D

My emotions , My world

2008-07-16T19:25:00.002+08:00

Kiss Shita Mama, Sayonara - DBSK

well i suppose nobody can comprehend how heavy and deep I feel now ...

before reading this , I'd like to say that these are all words from my heart and how I'm really feeling right now . Maybe you've seen this in the television dramas before . I never thought this would happen to me .. please , just look at me for now ..

recently , I've grew fond of this very special somebody . How I wished and prayed , but I knew what I had in mind . The song that is playing right now , don't stop it . Its about somebody who once fell in love with a girl . But he missed it , his opportunities . Now , they've lost contact and reminiscing about his love , thats the feeling I am feeling now . The spilled coffee will be dried up . Tears will grow stale . I know what I dream and aspire to be . The feeling of wanting to stand by you when you need me , to share the joy and the tears . This hunger has took my love for God away . You have become an idol for me . But if things were different , I wouldn't mind at all . But God didn't let things happen this way ; at least .. not for me .

Seeing you smile makes me grin inevitably . Hearing that you did well , I prayed all the more harder . Nothing else mattered to me . The anguish nights after nights with thoughts . I couldn't get to sleep . Sometimes , your the reason I'm late . Sometimes , your the reason I skip my meals because I have no appetite . To put it simply , I long to be someone who you can trust and lean on . But what I have in mind , the thoughts that made me sleepless nights after nights are far more profound than this. Who , of my age would be able to understand this ? Only those who had been through this would know . My dream was to go to Korea after my poly diploma and army . It was my dream , my ambition . I used to not have any until I sought after it and found my buried talents . My dream , was to go to Korea and learn music there and become a member of a popular boy band someday . But the thoughts in my mind were about making a certain decision . One that would compromise my dream , my all . I wanted to tell you how I feel , but I can't . Why do I start a relationship ? I start one with someone whom I love because I am preparing to marry her . If I had a choice , I'd rather compromise my dream and my all just to stand by you . But I cannot . I can never be so selfish . I know that what I earn can never give you a luxurious life , one that you can enjoy . If I had another chance I would strive so hard just to do well enough to at least get a well paying job to support our family . But I am not good enough . I'd rather see you be happy with another man than making you toll day and night with me and suffer . I'd be making big bucks if I were a popular singer . But you must have either forgotten about me or got married by then . I can't bring you there with me because it is an unfamiliar land to you . Even if you didn't mind . I can't be as selfish as to ditch you for my own ambition if I were to go after you now . I can't bear to ditch you , I can't . I'd be willing to marry you 70 years old , if I had the chance . But I know , its impossible . I'd be praying .

after all , looks like i'm not that godly after all ..

i'm sorry God .

please tell me little lie
loud enough that i can hear you ..

Arts fest aftermath

2008-07-13T11:54:00.008+08:00

Okay toodey imma post about art fest and what happened to me hahahs . On friday itself , I was super duper tired . Coz the night before had a few hours of rehearsal . I still went and joined the councilors for mass dance until so hiong .On the concert day couldn't get any rest coz AVT got ppl jam elec guitar like siao . In the night xinyi hilly sylvester & weiwei came to support me .Thanks a a lot really .I made quite a lot of friends during this whole event and im glad.People like those fun mass dance councillors and people who encouraged me along the way . And the people who did banners and cheered for me , thanks . During the concert I did 2 major mistakes la .. BOTH AT CLIMAX .For now and forever - Richard Marx I tried to clear my throat because of the phlegm . But end up i couldn't re-adjust and went off tune . For Just once - James Ingram I forgot my lyrics at the climax almost to the end . But i remembered at last and pulled my performance back .

I'm actually quite glad that lok mun won . Because I think he really did a lot better than me and deserved the champion . Well maybe i'll try again some other time with a band . Then when i got home , I've got durian as reward ! The bottomline is I've got this rlly rlly huge ulcer now .. sigh . But nevermind ! hahahs

My quality time with God

2008-06-29T08:47:00.003+08:00

From the inside out (Acoustic) - Hillsongs
whew , I've just finish spending some time with God and well , I don't know how I can use words to fully express how I feel now but It was awesome . Yesterday during sermon , I was really convicted about how God gives us so much blessings but yet sometimes we can neglect God like as if God is something we only worship when we are free . The first thing I decided to do today when I woke up was to spend quality time with God first . Hmm , If i were to put my experience to words , God's presence literally filled my entire room . As I was reading some chapters in 2 Chronicles , I couldn't help but weep in His awesome presence . It was as if He(God and not Jaejoong) was just beside me . When I looked back at my actions recently , I was really ashamed of facing God . I felt so .. unworthy and just so small . As I am writing this post , I can still feel God's presence so strong ( I hate to admit it but yes I am crying) . But God's words is still echoing in my mind .

2 Chron 29 - 31

The king of Judah , Ahaz was doing evil in the eyes of God . He built altars and offered sacrifice to other gods . God brought His wrath upon Him and the edomites came and destroyed him . Then his son , Hezekiah succeeded him . Hezekiah was a man of God . He did what was right in the eyes of God . He destroyed the altars of other Gods and restored the temple of God . He then wrote letters to all of Israel and Judah to invite them to come for the pass over feast in the temple of the Lord . Although some men did not humble themselves and even scorned the couriers of Hezekiel , Some men were faithful and humbled themselves and came to the feast . A huge crowd was present and many was not yet ceremonially clean . But they ate at the feast against the regulations stated in the Law of Moses . But Hezekiel prayed , "May the Lord , who is good , pardon everyone who sets his heart on seeking God - the Lord , the God of his fathers - even if he is not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary . " And God heard him and healed the people .

And then 2 chronicles 33 about the king of Judah , Manasseh son of Hezekiah .
He did so much evil that nobody has ever been so guilty . He set up altars of other gods and offered incense . He sacrificed his son in fire , practiced sorcery , divination and witchcraft . He also consulted mediums and spiritists . But when he was captured by his pursuers , he humbled himself to God and God heard his plea and was moved . And he was brought back to Jerusalem . See , even someone as unclean and sinful as him would be forgiven by God .
When I read this few chapters , I couldn't help but weep in joy that I have a God that is so good , compassionate and forgiving . Now I am sure , come what may , I can face it with God because He is my solution . God is my pillar of support and He stands by me even when I fail Him . Even when I am too ashamed to face God , He tells me " I have forgiven your sins when I sent my Son to die for you ."
Until then ..

Dorky video , dorky people

2008-06-22T15:45:00.002+08:00

Hello ! Today is the last day of holidays lah . Sigh , I really don't wish to cut my hair . And I'm currently not dying my hair back . See what Soong has to say . Holiday seems to end so fast but seriously I need to go back to school because I am rotting at home everyday . But even if I were to go back school , I'll still rot coz of the boring class and boring people and boring food and boring school . The only un-boring thing is that "Be yourself day" is coming . On that day , students get to dress up . So basically we can wear anything to school . Okay let me show you a random video I came across . This anime is one that is guaranteed been seen if not heard before .

Dong bang shin ki hwaiting !

dreamt

2008-06-19T11:02:00.002+08:00

This morning , I woke up after realizing I forgot to turn off the lights . But thats not the point !
I dreamt of the 5 hyungs . I MET THEM in JURONG POINT and it was like WHOA WTH ! The first thing i did was run up to them and what I said was " AHNYUNG HASEYO OPPAS ! Oh no , HYUNGS(I corrected myself) . They were going like .. "Oppa?" Okay so nevermind . I kinda asked if I can take pictures of them so they said okay and so I did . wow it was awesome yes it was .
AHHHH BUT I ONLY SAW Micky , max and Yunho ! So I asked them where are the rest of dbsk and they pointed to a stage on the ground floor and I saw Junsu hyung dancing on stage topless just like in shanghai concert . And they did autograph for me and we even had dinner together .They said that jae joong was busy with personal matters so he couldn't come to Singapore to publicize their new album . AHHHHHHHH BUT I WOKE UP AFTER THAT ! GOSH ! That was the first time i never wanted to wake up from a dream . But on the positive tone , fans who never get to see hyungs , at least I met them in my dream . (Don't get jealous alright?) hahahaha .

Okay i'm off ! Dong bang shin ki HWAITING! (An inaccurate pronounciation of "fighting)

Tagged by emi dongsaeng

2008-05-27T19:46:00.003+08:00

1. Real name: Derrick

2. Nickname: Da-li , dey-lick
3. Married: ehh .. no -. -'

4. Male or Female: Male

5.Secondary school : Yuan Ching secondary school

6. University: Like .. not yet

7. Short or long hair: Long i guess ..

8. Are you a health freak? : No but I may turn into a weight conscious freak at times :D

9. Height: 178ish . Same as joongified hyung .

10. Do you have a crush on someone: I guess so ?

11. Do you like yourself? Yeah =x

12. Piercing: None :D Original

13. Righty or Lefty: Right ~

FIRST'S
14. First surgery: Don't have

15. First piercing(s): Don't think will have

16. First person you see in the morning: Myself in the mirror . Or if you consider DBSK calender and poster first persons ^^

17. First award: Can't remember le lah

18. First sport you joined: Basketball

19. First pet: Xiao hui (ah pek dog)

20. First vacation: It was like .. when I was like 3? Went to phillipines .

21. First concert: Youth Alive(Radical conference 07)

CURRENTLY

23. Eating: Eaten

24. Drinking: Drinken

25. I'm about to: go bathe and make a chalet list

YOUR FUTURE

26. Want kids: Yeah

27. Want to get married: Hmm , depends on God

28. Careers in mind: Singer :3

WHICH DO YOU PREFER?

29. Lips or eyes: Eyes

30. Hugs or kisses: secret :D

31. Shorter or taller: taller

32. Romantic or spontaneous: both

33. Sensitive or loud: both

34. Trouble maker or hesitant: Sometimes both sometimes either sometimes neither

HAVE YOU EVER...?

35. Kissed a stranger: No

36. Drank bubbles: YES like when I was a kid .

37. Lost glasses/contacts: Perfect eyesight 6/6 ^^

38. Ran away from home: Yeah . But only for like 2 hours

39. Liked someone younger: yes

40. Liked someone older: yes

41. Broken someone's heart: once? twice? trice?

42. Been arrested: Like no .

43. Cried when someone died: When I watch a movie

44. Liked a friend: How can you DON'T LIKE your friend?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...?

45. Yourself: yep

46. Miracles: yeahssssssss

47. Heaven: is there for me and God and my fellow siblings in Christ

48. Santa claus: nope. Like what lah santa claus is demonic .

49. Angels: Yeah . how bout fallen angel? that rat .

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY NOW...

50. Is there one person you want to be with right now: Yeah kinda , after comforting her.

51. Do you believe in God: I do.

52. Tag 7 people: those who are the first 7...
I won't specify because some people will find it lame . If you want you can :D
Thanks emi dongsaeng for tagging .

Left brain , or Right brain?

2008-05-24T09:44:00.005+08:00

Try this

First, identify yourself as right- or left- brain person:

1. Hold your hands together, as if you were praying.
Look at your hands.

Left thumb below the right thumb: left brain
Right thumb below the left thumb: right brain

2. Fold your arms in front of you as if you are angry.
Look at your hands.

Right arm above left arm: left brain
Left arm above right arm: right brain

.
.
.
.
Based on 1 and 2 (order important), below is the interpretation of your personality:

Right-Left: Considerate, traditional, indirect type. Can instinctively read other's emotion and respond friendly by natures. Although not very into taking initiatives in moving forward, this person will always take a step back in supporting others. Stable personality and considerate, gives others a 'being protected' feeling. But their weakness is they cannot say no. Regardless how unwilling they are, they will still take care of others.

Right-Right: Straightforward. Once decided on something, they will take action right away. Very curious and love challenges. Dare to face dangers without thinking through (sometimes foolishly). Their weakness is they don't listen to others. They will filter in only what they want to hear in a conversation and very subjective. However, because of their straightforward attitude, they tend to be fairly popular.

Left-Left: Dedicated, cold, perfectionist. Very logical in all aspects. The only way to defeat(or win over) him/her is through reasons. Has a lot of pride and feels strongly about doing the right thing. If they are your friends, they are very trustworthy. However, if they are your opponents, they will be very tough to deal with. Because they can be very "anal" as a perfectionist, they usually leave a bad impression of being hard to deal with when first met.

Left-Right: Likes to take care of others, the leader type. Has a cool and keen observation ability to see through situations, yet still can be considerate in others needs. Because of their cool, calm nature and strong sense of responsibility, they tend to become head of a group. Popular among people. However, they may not be able to help themselves in meddling because they want to take care of others too much. Very concerned about how others view them, and always on alert.

I'm a Right-Right.
UNFORTUNATELY , sigh .I think its accurate . Sometimes I don't like to listen to people . After all , I AM fairly popular xD
its so cool right !

Please share your result with me :D
CSSPF hwaiting ~

The return of the hawt guys

2008-05-14T17:56:00.003+08:00

Okay finally . Its the after - exam period . I'm gonna be bored sigh . I'll be organizing a chalet soon if I manage to find more people . Seriously , I'm looking forward to roller blading with cg .
Oh yeah , my hyperactive mood has leveled up . So has my randomness . I wanna see tvfxq concert in sg ! T_T I guess they aren't coming anytime soon . And I WANNA SEE JAEJOONG IN PERSON OMGOSH I TELL YOU IF I SEE HIM IN PERSON I'LL HAVE A HEART ATTACK ! YES YES I WILL SHAKE HIS HAND AND NEVER LET GO .
Okay enough of craze for now .Let us look at pics of 4 hot guys

Emo Nico

Antisocial time is money stereotype Xinyi

Money grubber Hilly

LAST BUT NOT LEAST THE SMEXY HOTSPECS JAEJOONG

All comments of the above are jokes . If you are offended , I apologize .

ps : okay ? Hilly? xD

NEW SKIN !

2008-04-30T20:35:00.002+08:00

Whew , finally finished updating my new blogskin ! ^^ I'm so excited . Jae Joong gosh ! Okay , I'm not gay but his voice is just soooo nice . Mine is nowhere his standard . Oh man .. I'm so tired . I guess I'll go rest awhile . Btw , my blogskin's top right hand corner has a small box . Can't seem to get rid of it . If you guys know of any solution , please msn me ^^

weiwei .

2008-04-25T23:21:00.005+08:00

WHOS THAT POKEMON?

Update

2008-04-16T14:49:00.003+08:00

Hello ! okay i guess ill be updating (Finally) after the long hiatus .
For the time that I've been away , many events happened . Events such as stuff happening like for example .. Listening to songs of other Korean bands like Big Bang , Urban humming stereo (I used to often mistake it as humming urban stereo)
ftts . Btw , I'm back to BASKETBALL ! A sport - cum - cca that I've forsaken for almost a year .And well , coach lai ? he's still the same old person swearing at my dumb mistakes . Hahas but its cool to go back lah . And although my weight didn't change , someone(Si chen) said I lost weight . Well , i guess she was just patronizing me . But i'm gonna make my stand and lose a couple of kg .Recently , I haven't been doing my f&n work cause well , I was lazy and my textbook was with Dawn .I seriously need to buck up on my studies . If not , I'll fail miserably ._.
Haven't been hanging out with my cliques for a long time .. But every time i try to make time for them and ask them out , they'll always refuse me and tell me they are gonna go home . Sigh . It was them who persuaded me to stay in this miserable forsaken school (I'd have transfered if not for them) and its also them who now ditched me and left me alone .But oh well , who can I blame? I took up roller blading recently and am I talented or what? I'd only played it twice and i'm already learning things classified in the advanced course . Of course I still fall , but its part of learning isn't it? Tomorrow is gonna be a tough ride . First of all , I got a detention letter because I was late for sports day .Like .. what the heck is wrong with the teachers ? And then its a whole 2 hours .And then I have napfa 5 items test ( My body is still aching after training yesterday after being absent from it for almost a year ) and after napfa I have BASKETBALL training .
Nevermind . At least I still get to drink vitasoy during reccess =)

Good friday

2008-03-21T22:01:00.002+08:00

Whoa , today went to east coast with papa , didi , stepmum and maid . Go there papa teach me how to play roller blade . :] Whoa , I fell down during the beginning like .. once or twice coz first time play mah . Then after that I know how to play le so I never fall . Instead I became good at it at my first attempt . xD
After that while stepma go toilet before going for dinner , me and papa stand at grass there see 1 roller blade instructor teach his students . Then got 1 indian girl who hire him . then she dunno how to play mah . When she stand up she fell with her belly to the ground . But her front teeth kena the floor and flew out ._.
Wah .. So jiat lat . My papa say the instructor lousy coz he never support her. First timers confirm will lose balance mah . Whoa the girl bleed a lot . Then whoa so ke lian . But nevermind . Went to Marina Bay country club eat dinner ($81.xx) Then actually papa want teach me golf . But he got pissed by didi so we went home .
Didi keep wandering around and very noisy . Anyway , i ate topshell for dinner . Some kind of snail ._. Surprisingly , it tasted good . Like abalone . lols! And then ate steak . On the way home i chit chat with papa on the car about Christian movies. So cool . God really blessed my day with so many events . Now i still get goosebumps thinking of that indian girl without front tooth .

More pictures

2008-03-19T16:33:00.007+08:00

Hey guys .. well , nowadays im lazy to update . But i won't let it go dead . Somehow , I really dread going to a dead place with dead people like school . Well , i dread waking up uber early just to prepare for school and I dread meeting people who are unlovable . But oh well , I just have to live with it . Good friday is coming ! Jesus's resurrection anniversary is around the corner too .I kinda miss primary friends . Oh well , meet them soon . Back to dbsk and jae joong !

Oppa !

I reached the summit okay !

Encounter retreat forfeits !

My dear servant carrying my bunny :)

Focus on the birthday boy only !

Look ! This is the cake i baked for Yi Xiang's birthday

Stupid smiling wanted man

my didi :]

2008-03-05T17:49:00.002+08:00

WHEN ..

HE A.K.A CHOU CHE LUN 周车伦 SHE A.K.A CHOU CHE LUN 周车伦'S MANAGER
THEY A.K.A THE CHOU CHE LUN 周车伦'S BODYGUARDS .

HE A.K.A THE CAMERAMAN .
SHE A.K.A A CRAZY FAN WHO CLAIMS TO BE CHOU CHE LUN 周车伦'S MOTHER .
THEY A.K.A FANS OF CHOU CHE LUN 周车伦

MEET, ...

Pictures !

2008-03-05T16:36:00.005+08:00

Hahs ! Hols are coming ! i'm looking forward to june chalet ( which im gonna organise) .
and as well as Kboxing* ! DBSK !!! Okay . Erm , I also look forward to going to church everyweek. Well , Thats pretty much . Have fun ! tag before you leave :D

Model of the Year (Ang Yee Seng )

Kang Hao caught off guard

Hui Wen's birthday and "cake" made by me and cellgroup !

Chen Wei Lian ! (yi xiang)

Caught you off guard ! Chong Hui

Taegoo sneezing on Yee Seng * kidding*

New Engrish pictures

2008-02-28T20:42:00.010+08:00

Yes . Thats what I use toilet papers for .

Whh...whats wrong with this hospital .. like seriously .

Do I have to moan for a cold one?

Darn . I won't accept GAYS

Its so good , You can't stop with only one

It's going fast

The factory owner must be a racist .

Just look at those arrogant faces .These people need to learn their english -. -"

I'm telling you , they don't go well together .

Try the car instead :)

Stupid Engrish

2008-02-25T18:33:00.010+08:00

I stopped lodging at chinese hotels after this .

Weiwei's room door.

Direct translation WOOTS

When did Loin king become a boar?

You sober people are safe

Oh no ! my dog !

Don't worry , we won't laugh

the reason i stopped eating Chinese food .

My phone line is back ~

2008-02-23T10:14:00.001+08:00

Hey sup guys , My phone line is back on ! Check this out :

This phone is nice ! Shake control , super duper cool lights and stuff , THIS will be my next new phone . Well , thats about it :)

Think Hell is fun? Think again

2008-02-18T14:41:00.002+08:00

Well , this has a humourous touch to its mcdonald advertisement . Pretty cool eh?

I lost my phone

2008-02-13T19:55:00.004+08:00

Guys , I LOST MY PHONE!

Upon seeing this post , please drop whatever you are doing and leave your contact number on MSN .
If i'm offline , leave me an offline message please . Thank you .

Sigh ...

Wo Ai NissiWeiwei

2008-02-11T18:35:00.000+08:00

Derrick ! :D

Crazy People !

Winnie & me

thinking of the times we all shared really makes me feel like wanting to meet you guys again immediately.
You guys have been great siblings to me , bringing joy and stuff . I just thank God for you guys .
God has blessed me with such great companions for the eternal walk . And He can do much more for me ! I'm so overwhelmed and amazed by the plans He has ahead of me .

Wanna upsize your live? Try a Jesus meal .
I'm lovin Jesus
Love your neighbours as yourself . Find it hard?Try the guy behind you :)

Ugly faces !

2008-01-27T20:09:00.000+08:00

As usual , the bored XinYi & Derrick -. -" . Well , Its lame , but well , who cares ! Boredom can make you do the most ridiculous things in this world . Amen? By the way , this video was inspired by my class' dearest discipline ic , "Hafiz" . Well , he was acting as if he was fighting with yet another notorious figure , " Gary" . Then Hafiz wanted to do the *im watching you* kinda thing , but Gary accidentally pushed Hafiz's arm and the fingers went in his eyes !
Well , i laughed til my tears were like F1 race cars racing down their lanes .
On saturday , church had steamboat event . A bit not worth it leh .. the variety not a lot and everyone chionging . But its once in a while la so I don't mind the fellowship xD !
Then Henson came over to me with a mischievous grin on his face ," Hey Derrick ! wanna go " then he did the typing keyboard action " . Hahs ! Alright I said i'll go , then i started rallying up the troopers for DotA . Taegoo , Malcolm , Xin Yi , Jie Ming , Henson , ian and other cg ppl were ready . Whew ! Then we found out that Henson and Jie Ming had library duty -. -" . So nevermind . We went ahead ; guess what? IRC was down -. -" . Then we went to another cyber cafe and guess what? new membership cards needed 2 weeks to be processed and approved . Talk about the efficient society Singapore has . So Xin Yi , Malcolm , Mandi ,Taegoo and I decided to go have more food ! I ate rojak ! Whoa so nice la .
Then today , I was labelled siao . Coz i was daydreaming halfway then i suddenly laugh like siao . So they ask me what am I laughing at . So i told them i was recalling the time my cg had together during saturday . Then weiwei told this very stupid blonde joke which made me laugh like crap .
Once there was a blonde and a gangster and they had a race . But the blonde won the race ! So the gangster very Bu Shuang (not happy) . So he went over and asked the blonde to come out of the car . The blonde got off and started gigling .So the gangster was infuriated . He then said , "How dare YOU win ME?! Do YOU have the slightest idea of who I AM? I AM gonna smash your car right infront of YOU ! Just watch ! " The blonde instead , remained nonchalant . Then the gangster drew a circle on the floor with his fingers and told the blonde to stand there and not to step out of the circle while watching the gangster destroy her car . So the gangster turned around and smashed the car a few times with a sledge hammer . Then , he heard the blonde giggle . He then turned around and shouted "What are YOU laughing at ? Stupid blonde " "Nothing . (giggles ) " Then the gangster turned back and continued smashing the blonde's car . This happened three times ! And after the third time , the car became a pile of rubble . But the blond giggled again. So the gangster asked , " Can you tell me WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" So the blond replied " Alright alright . I'll tell you . While you weren't looking at me , i stepped out of the cirlce ! (giggles ) " Well , its super lame but funny . Alright i think thats all x33

Here in my life .

2008-01-17T19:44:00.000+08:00

Here In My Life

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I'll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep

And I remember how You found me:
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus you're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?

You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life

And I remember how You saw me:
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way!

Well , This song really is very meaningful to me . When I think back , think of the times when I was still lost .. When I was still worldly , when I was still a fool , All those time were wasted .
And if I think back , where would I be if God didn't appear ? His plans are so precise and so steady . Normally , planning your time for a whole year would be so darn complicated and complex . But look at the One and only , King of kings . He plans our future for all eternity since we were borned . If I had a choice to choose if I'd be a man after God's heard , I would choose the same decision again . Now , my life doesn't feel so empty . I have to share the gospel . Because when I don't have the courage to , He'll give me faith , even to walk on water oceans deep . His love will never fail me , that I believe and trust , for he has already loved and blessed me so abundantly . I shall not procrastinate ! You made a way and I'm going your way!

Cat Mario !

2008-01-10T19:42:00.000+08:00

Guys , its time to update ! As weiwei reminded . Well , Theres this game i found which is super super depressing and irritating ! Go play it man !

http://www.geocities.jp/z_gundam_tanosii/home/applet/Main.html

If you can complete it , You have my respect ! Muahaha ! Anyways , Im soooo sooooo excited for the Ignite conference . Im gonna meet sooo many people and feel God's presence . Anyway , darn im kinda sick of school already -. -" During hols , i want school . Now is back to studying , i want hols . I just dont know how to appreciate what i have ! hahas . Then i went for height and weight ._. Well , im super super overweight la . but im glad i lost 2 - 3 kg . Well , i dunno if im overweight but well .. My height is stagnant le ! So im not gonna grow anymore . Hopefully , i dont shrink . Besides , being too tall isnt a good thing . I think my height is just nice for me . I won't reveal my height and weight -. -" But well , if you really are dying to know , leave me a tag . x33 . Seriously arh .. i hate math and my class seems so childish -. -" . They are like .. IQ zero la . Okay . Lets say a teacher eats a bit of your time after school to finish what he can say . But instead of letting him finish asap so we can leave , the whole class keeps making monkey noises and disrupting him for what he has to say . Im so pissed by them la . Its not the teacher who is wasting time , but them instead . Oh yeah ! I already have a theme for my class notice board !

G3N3SIS - A new beginning -

Super cool right ! And hopefully , we can maintain first position for decorating class notice board ! Right . i think thats all for today . Bye!

George Bush parody

2007-12-29T11:48:00.001+08:00

This is the next big thing . Enjoy .

Christmas not X'mas

2007-12-24T19:55:00.000+08:00

Hey . Christmas is here again ! Actually , Christmas signifies Jesus' birthday and people all around the world celebrates it . But , nowadays , people neglect this special occasion . Heres a letter Jesus has written to all of you .

anyway God has a letter for all of your this christmas!

hello dear children ,

Well, as you know, it's time for my birthday again. Last year they had a real big party for me and it seems like they will again this year. After all, they've been shopping and preparing for it for months now, and there have been announcements and advertisements almost everyday about how soon it's coming! They really do go overboard about it, but it's nice to know that at least on one day of the year some people are thinking about me a little. You know, it's been many years now since they first started celebrating my birthday. Back then they seemed to realize and appreciate how much fun it is for the little children. Just the same, it seems that most folks are missing the point of it all. Like last year for example...when my birthday came around they threw a big party but can you believe it?... I wasn't invited! Imagine! The guest of honor, and they forgot all about me! Here they had begun preparing for the festivities two months in advance but when the big day came I was left out in the cold!

Well, it happened so many times in recent years I wasn't even surprised. Even though I wasn't invited I thought I'd just quietly slip in anyway. So I came in and stood off to the side. Everyone was drinking, laughing and having a grand time, when all of the sudden, in came this fat fellow in a bright red suit wearing a phony white beard and shouting "Ho Ho Ho!" He looked like he had more than enough to drink but he somehow managed to weave his way across the floor while everyone cheered. When he collapsed into a big armchair all the children went running over to him excitedly yelling "Santa!! Santa!!" I mean, you'd have thought he was the guest of honor and the whole holiday was in his honor! Then he began telling them the most ridiculous stories you've ever heard ... that he lived at the North Pole with a crew of dwarfs and that every year on my birthday he rides in his sleigh pulled by a bunch of flying reindeers, delivering presents to children all over the world!! I mean there wasn't a word of truth in anything he said! Imagine telling such poor, little, impressionable kids such far-fetched fables! Finally I just had to leave, I walked out of the door, and it was hardly surprising that no one even noticed that I had gone.

Another thing that amazes me is how, on my birthday, instead of giving me presents, most people give presents to each other! And to top it all off, it's usually all kinds of stuff they don't even need! Let me ask you, wouldn't you find it odd if when your birthday came along, all your friends decided to celebrate it by giving each other presents and never gave you a thing? Someone once told me, well, it's because you're not around like other people are, so how can we give you a present? You know my answer to that one...then give gifts of food and clothing to the poor, help those who need it. Go visit the lonely! I said, "Listen, any gift you give to your needy fellowmen, I'll count as if you gave it to me personally!" (See Matthew 25:34-40) .

Well sad to say, things are getting worse each year. You can just imagine my shock a few years ago when I began seeing them taking my name out of my birthday greeting and replacing it with an X. What an insult!! Think of it!...X-mas!! What if I wrote you a birthday card and said Happy Birthday X! You'd probably never talk to me again! And that's just about how I feel. I mean what more could they do to push me right out of the picture on my own birthday?

Now this is something I've been planning on doing for quite sometime, but the way things are going, I think I'm planning of holding my own party! How about that? It's going to be the biggest, most fantastic feast, you could possibly imagine! It might not happen this year but I'm sending out invitations now anyway because I know you'll want to come. There's going to be room for billions, for everyone who wants to come! Some really famous old timers and celebrities are going to be there and I'll reserve you a seat of honor right with them! (Matthew 8:11) So hold on to your hat because when everything is ready I'm going to spring it as a big surprise and a lot of people are going to be left out in the cold because they didn't answer my invitation!! Let me know right away if you'd like to come and I'll reserve you a place and write your name in large golden letters in my BIG GUEST BOOK!!

love,
JESUS.

We should really get the fact that Christmas is indeed celebrated for Jesus Christ . Not for Santa Claus . Children of God , Please help forward this message and spread it around .

YI camp 2007

2007-12-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

Hey guys ! Im back from a 4d3n camp in rjc ! It was uber fun and we had special guess Pastor Matt Fielder from planetshakers church to preach for us ! Though it was sad to close the camp , I learnt to cherish the ending and put it down . Well , fret not ! Pastor Matt will be preaching again on Saturday for the Christmas bash ! Ouch .. i hope those i invited are free >< . Well , i'll pose some pics i took recently =)

Christmas is coming !

2007-12-07T18:46:00.001+08:00

Christmas is coming ! As i hum the first noel song , it reminds me of how much I used to love Christmas trees . And not to forget , turkeys , ham and all the good food . Merry Christmas in advance ! Hohoho . I'll be away for a church camp on 17th to 20th !Its gonna be so much fun . I hope the holy spirit will touch me just as it did on encounter retreat ! * I was so touched my tears were free flowing * >< .Then , we have Christmas bash ! Anyone wanna come ? Fret not . I'll be inviting people over for the bash . BUt those who are interested please leave me a tag . It'll be at Jurong stadium . I'll confirm the date for you if you want =)) . And and , i wanna bake Christmas cookies ! *I'll make sure its not chao tar * Recently , i fell in love with cameras >< . Now people start calling me 2nd samuel of YI . Here are some nice shots =) . Im kidding . Ignore the nice shots part . Okay .. How nice if mr Chew retires . I dont want him to cut my hair again!

My Life's Interests

2007-11-29T20:12:00.000+08:00

Well , i'm just gonna write a bit about about what my life consists of and what are the things I really like . Well , It goes like this .. When im bored , i start to think of stuff , maybe you call it daydream , but I really think of stuff in my life . Like , cherishing the happy moments i have had with my friends and family . Thinking about the good times really makes me feel like my life isn't wasted .How I wish I can stop my age from growing above 18 . Then , perhaps , I can go learn how to drive ! hahas . And I will never grow old .
And then .. recently , My cellgroup had newcomers . And we were asked to share our ambitions .. I thought for awhile .. But , I figured I was gonna be a chef . Well , I really didnt think of this question until recently . Hearing DBSK , my favourite acapella boy band sing , It melts my heart >< . Then i figured .. I want to use music to touch people's hearts just like DBSK . But im just not talented enough .Maybe music lessons might help ? I want to sing like Kim Jae Joong . Hahas ;xx . In case you don't know , I spend 40% of my life singing and 20% thinking . That explains why I have strands of white hair xD . Well , those who are around me will know I love singing and I sing all the time . After the recent karaoke session with my friends back in 2N1 , I realised how bad i sound . If only I train my vocals somehow . xD . Well , thats all I have to share . I'll go think more . Oh , those who wanna bake Christmas cookies , leave me a tag . xD Im more than glad to help bake them .

Get your own psp !

2007-11-25T12:27:00.000+08:00

Balloons ! DBSK!

2007-11-02T10:57:00.001+08:00

This is the mv to dbsk 's Balloon . They are so cute in this video xDD . Hero Jae Joong!!

posting again

2007-10-29T14:34:00.000+08:00

Hey im back to post again ! I wanna change my phone soon so that i can start taking photos again !!
>< Im dying to take pics with my phone .. Just my luck it fell and damaged the memory stick .
cg , Lets do our best to share the gospel . listen the song by casting crowns by various singers . 3rd track . Maybe this time , i can save his/her soul . Maybe this time .. or else it might be too late ..
Don't let fear pull you back .. because deep down , you share the gospel because you love your friend so much you dont want him/her to die . As we dance around the truth , they might die the next moment .. don't delay anymore . Thanks for those who passed by and tag !
Cool ! This coming saturday , Hsih Zheng is coming to church ! Hohos ! You know , my friend Benedict , he had to do his forfeit to take a tel no. from a girl . He picked a girl named Brenda and guess what ? She told him to call 999 . Gosh ! I couldnt stop laughing .. Camp is fun . Sigh .. Im gonna be the "Cooking guy " minority group. Say .. i rly like cooking .. but somehow , I don't wanna get into F&N . >< . (secret : I like cooking cause during around 2nd semester in my school , I decided i wanna cook for my family .. now and in the future . Its such a blessing . hahas xDD)

Secret confessions -

When i was p3 again , i played with a fire extinguisher and the stuff inside got into an indian guy's eye and he had to go to hospital . >< . Well , i was reprimanded by teachers , parents and friends . Though if it didnt got into the lil boy's eye , i wouldnt have regret having the experience to "test the extinguisher" . Muahahas. =3

duh ..

2007-10-22T19:45:00.000+08:00

And for the last time ,

No guys . Im not into relationships ._. Why do you guys suspect this and that everytime im trying to be nice? ._. I just wanna concentrate on God and no i have no special feelings for anyone ! I just wanna enjoy my childhood . And if i even had feelings for someone , it wouldnt be just some Tom , Dick or Harry . It will be someone whom God chose for me . "oh your so full of God " you say? Thats the way I am >< . Alright . i said my piece . Spread rumours as you like okays??
Alright . Today is sooooo boring. In class nth to do play dai ti , chinese chess and stare into space ._. and and , you know , My school sells this chicken drumsticks for 40cents and its soooooo delicious la . >< im gonna put on weight again . AH!!
Not to mention chalet . Im gonna gorge on sushi til sakae sushi downtown east closes down its outlet ! Mohohohos! Not forgetting to mention my helpers , those guys who are going for the chalet ! Muahahas !

* Secret confessions *

Remembering the days i had during primary school , it really nvr ceases to amuse me. I remembered in the past , during primary 3 , i did something really mischievious . Know those fire alarm panels whereby it activates if you break the glass ? I used a recorder to jab it and the whole school had a fire drill ! weeee .
Hahas .. i admit it was fun . But bad >< .

Hey hey!

2007-10-20T21:20:00.001+08:00

Woots! Rejoice ! For a soul has been saved today , 20th October 07 ! The Lord has been faithful . I also pray that He will bless Yi Xiang's family that they will be more receptive and open towards his joining to the family of Christ. You know , he told me about the laughing buddha. a.k.a LOL god. Coz he like to laugh . i was like .. LOL -______- . Hunger for God ! Persist on and I will live by Faith! Keep the faith and it will pull through . God bless our lives. Amen.

Glorifying your name

2007-10-08T14:08:00.001+08:00

I found the title. It was replied to me by the YI Media! Kudos for them! This song's title is Unaware by Mercy Me. Back to singing this song! Unaware of my fears , Unaware of my shame . But nothing else matters here , but glorifying your name ~ lalalas~ . Ok stop! im becoming girly now ._. T_T . But im very sure i still like girls ._.

Worshipping God with a true heart

2007-09-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

When the music fades all is stripped away an i simply come
longing just to bring somethings thats of worth that will bless
your heart

I'll bring you more than a song
for a song in itself is not what you have required
you search much deeper within through the way things appear
you're looking into my heart

Chorus

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and its all about you its all about you Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
when its all about you its all about you Jesus.

Verse 2

King of endless worth no one could express
how much you deserve
though i'm weak and poor all i have is yours
every single breath

I'll bring you more than a song
for a song in itself is not what you have required
you search much deeper within through the way things appear
you're looking into my heart (yeah)

Chorus

I'm coming back to the heart of worship and its all about
its all about you Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
when its all about you its all about you Jesus.

All about you
I'll bring you more than a song i'll bring you more than a song
(more than a song)
I'll bring you more than a song i'll bring you more than a song

You're looking into my heart into my heart
You're looking into my heart into my heart
I'll bring you more than a song i'll bring you more than a song
I'll bring you more than a song i'll bring you more than a song.

This song is rly meaningful. As Christians , during praise and worship , we always ask ourselves . Whoa , this song is nice. Eeee , i dun like this song , so i dont worship. NO! that is the wrong type of worship. What matters most during worship is whether God loves it or not . We tend to think that whenever we go to church , we go dere to be entertained by the pastor and the worship leader. But , NO! We aren't the audiences and they arent the performer. We ALL are the performer. And theres only one person as the audience , God. Im coming back to the heart of worship God , And im sorry for the *thing* i've made it. the *THING* is talking about what we made worshipping God into . Today , when pastor preached about this , i finally understand. And after the altar call , we have Praise and worship before end of service .. and we sang this song . I felt God's presence so strong when the music started to play , i fell to my knees . Tears dropped down my face .. seeking for forgiveness . He loved us so much . But yet time and time again we sinned against Him. We have no idea how much it breaks His heart and everytime we just ask and take but dont give back anything. Worst of all , now , almost worldwide have changed their concept of worship. Its so sad. Jesus , i love you so much i wanna worship u my whole life. Lord ,
i feel u around me even as im typing . Its those kinda feeling where u rly feel him beside u . Ur hair stands and u feel so peaceful . God is so great theres no word that can comprehend His love for us . Fellow brothers and sisters , lets try our utmost best to share the gospel and let others have this chance to experience His love. I want this free flow tears feeling to come back whenever i worship Him ..

Updating.

2007-09-28T16:12:00.000+08:00

Woots. Im bored . Its just another lousy day where everyone just practically steps on ur toes! Today after cheers , i went to Cheers . Then Malcolm accidentally hit some canned drinks and caused it to fall. Then some retards shouted at us. Saying that we just walk off without picking it up . they also said that it would cause them to be scolded by our school vp. That is utter crap man. Nobody pointed fingers at them .. Nobody asked them to stand dere . And if we knocked something down , we know how to pick it up. we're not like them . The reason they got punished before is coz they went away like retards. I felt so useless la. I just wanna protect my friends . But deres nth to do. I dont want to end up in a fight and stir trouble like a retard.. Phew. It just feels so much better to say it all out. Well , this song on my imeem is soooo nice. Eternal by dbsk . 2nd track And Will she be my girlfriend -dbsk . TVXQ!!! Hearing eternal makes me feel .. somehow .. sentimental. Not the romantic type .. And i like songs like that . xDD . Well , i've no confidence ill pass any of the exams i took today. Hist and Lit.
I'll have to buck up next year . If i dont , i'll be retained. So much for the "Aim for express" goal. On monday , went out wif my mama! Shes so nice. She went to buy some berms for me as i requested =xx . Im gonna wear it to church this saturday!!Then went to watch this M18 show "Now i pronounce you Chuck and Larry" . This show is about gays and homos la. Kinda dumb .. but funny if u understand. I hate this butterfly guy in the show. Retard la.. Im soooo gonna watch balls of fury ! Chalet at the end of the year. Interested pls inform me xD. Location will be at Downtown at 10th November 07. =)) God bless!

Quiz time!

2007-09-23T10:19:00.000+08:00

List out 5 birthday presents that you wishes for:
New Phone! ps3 , Husky , Zinc bunny bag & lots&lots of clothes

Answer the following questions:
1. The person who tag you is:
XuePing M~mei

2. Your relationship with him/her:
Siblings xD . But not related in blood ._.

3. Your 5 impressions with him/her:
Siao siao , funny , cute , friendly & helpful!!

4. The most memorable thing that he/she had done for you:
Sending me a birthday msg . Hahas!

5. The most memorable words that he/she had said to you:
i forgot ._.

6. If he/she will become your lover, will you:
Says: SHES MINE :X jookin ~

7. If he/she become your lover, things he/she will have to improve on will be:
XD none, she arld great

8. If he/she become your enemy, will you:
i will kill her and cut her body into 13 pieces and plant them at .. Joking!

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason being will be:
No la. we so good wont become enemy one laas xD

10. The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is:
Lend her my listening ear and helping hands whenever necessary

11. Your overall impression of him/her is:
10 / 10 !!

12. How do you think people around you feel about you:
Dunno .. Siao ?

13. The character you love of yourself is:
Being siao! Coz easy to click with other siao ppl!

14. On the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is:
Spend a lot of money T_T

15. The most ideal person you want to be:
Person with Nice vocal (x <--- Michelle!! Same !! xDD

16. Pass this quiz to 10(._.) people:
1. Hillary!!
2. RachRach!
3. Joyce
4. Claudie!
5. MdmWinnie!
6. Samuel <-- Samstrawb
7. XuePing
8. Dawn
9. XinYi . <><
10. Free for all! (x

17. Who is 6 having relationship with?
Haahs! Sam arh .. i think dun haf bah. Dun sabo him xD

18. Is no.9 a male or a female?
MALE!

19. If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
Maybe:X

20. How about no.8 and 5?
Wah! Cannot Les!!

21. What is no.2 studying about?
Not rly sure ._.

22. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
Woots! Quite long le hor?

23. What kind of music band does no.8 likes?
Not sure.. Hillsong?? xD

25. Will you woo no.3?
Ahh . This qn is certainly most amusing. i Would consider xD

26. Is no.4 single?
I suppose so??

- 27. What's the surname of no.5?
Chia?

28. What's the hobby of no.4?
Dunno leh .. Shopping? Hang out bah

29. Do no.5 and no.9 get along well?
Perhaps. Most probably yes

30. Where is no.2 studying at?
NUS High leh . Siao siao! xPP

31. Talk something casually about no.1?
Sexy!

32. Have you try developing feelings for no.8?
Woots! Of Course! I love my Sister in Christ a lot!

34. What colours does no.4 likes?
Red?

35. Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
No . They dunno each other xD

36. Does no.7 likes no.2?
No . They dunno each other xD

37. How do you get to know no.2?
Maple . Lols! Her nick is BOBOLINK!

38. Does no.1 have any pets?
No?

39. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
YES! :D Shes a super sexy babe :X

2007-09-17T20:49:00.000+08:00

I was unable to sleep that night. At first I thought that maybe I was too physically exhausted and my mind was unable to drift into sleep mode. So I began to count sheep, drank warm milk and studied my Economics text. It was futile. After playing a loud slow song that woke my grandmother up, I decided not to sleep. After all, I had to wake up early the next day for school.

It was, by then, four in the morning. Several windows outside my apartment were lightening up, getting ready for the day. I looked at my hand phone to check for new messages. There weren’t any. I frowned and sent “Good night, good morning, Mr. Ker” as a SMS to Jeff and went to bath.

Why the heck had I done that? For fun? No, in my dictionary, the word ‘fun’ had ceased to exist.

I spent the next two hours surfing the Internet, checking my hand phone, watching television, checking my hand phone again, playing games and checking my hand phone once more. At last, at six, I received a message. It was from Jeff.

Morning, Michelle! I m so happy. This is the 1st time u msg me. Thx!

I deleted the message and then spent the next ten minutes trying to restore deleted messages. There was no such function. Silly me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jeff was “acting” normal to me in school.

It was like yesterday’s conversation had never occurred. He put on his trademark smile to class as usual and joked his time off. When lunch break came, he bought me my drink and I could avoid the strangeness no longer. I asked, “Why are you acting so strangely today?”

“Strangely?” he said. “I’m not! I’m not even acting.”

“You are.” I retorted, wondering if I had just accidentally “cursed” him. After a considerably thought, I figured I had not so I continued. “You used to be so…” I stopped. It was not him. It was me.

I had suddenly wanted him to pay more attention to me. To talk to me more. To joke with me more. He was just being himself today. What was wrong with me?

“I’m sorry.” I said as I looked at my plate of rice, ashamed to face him. “So, when is the… appointment?”

“I’m calling them later.”

“You’ll… come with me, correct? As you promised?”

Although I was not looking at him, I knew he must have been showing me that toothy grin again. “I promise. I’ll come with you for every session. Every single session. Every…”

“Good. Good.” I said. “Really good.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hey, Michelle.”

I woke up from my doze. The lecturer’s droning voice was amplified to the entire hall. I took a few seconds to register my situation and looked up. It was Michael, one of my classmates who wrote the script for the play. He was sitting in front of me, his head turned. Jeff was snoring beside me, his cheek kissing the table.

“Hey, Michelle.” He repeated as if I was still napping. “You there?”

I nodded as an answer to his question.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

I nodded again. “Why?”

“Well, it’s because…”

Jeff sprang up from his sleep and grabbed Michael in the neck, standing up. “Don’t harm her!” he shouted.

His voice attracted the attention of the entire hall. All the students turned to look at him. The lecturer stopped talking and stared at Jeff with his eyes wide open, obviously surprised at Jeff’s commotion. All I did was to look Jeff in the eyes. Michael did not struggle. He was staring at Jeff, still stunned by his onslaught.

A few seconds dragged on. Jeff let go and sat down while Michael scratched his head. They did not exchange a single word. A few whispers from the students killed the silence.

“As you all can see, the point when demand is…” Strangely, the lecturer continued the lecture as if nothing had happened.

“Hey, Mikey..” Jeff whispered. Michael wheeled and faced Jeff. He did not seem afraid. “I’m sorry. I had a silly dream. You know, Mr. Tan’s voice can turn a sweet dream into a nightmare.”

“I know. I understand. That’s why I dare not sleep when Mr. Tan is lecturing. By the way, what dream did you just have? Who’s the ‘her’?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, who’s the ‘her’?” I asked as well. Must be out of curiosity.

“I… forgot. You know, you always forget your dreams.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah. Anyway,Michelle, I was able to ask you… are you okay?”

“What’s wrong?” Jeff and I replied together.

“Well, it’s just that… you’ve smiled five times today. And I’ve seen you smile less than ten times despite knowing you for more than six months. It’s a bit… unusual?”

“Well, Michael…” Jeff licked his lips in delight. “She’s going to smile more in the future. I promise you that.”

And all of a sudden, I smiled.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“It’s called the Child’s Guidance Clinic, commonly known as CGC. It provides neuroscience treatment, psychological and psychiatric services to people aged eighteen and below. It’s under the Institute Of Mental Health. The price is cheaper as the Government will subsidize a large portion of the cost. I’ve booked an appointment for you.”

Jeff passed me a sheet of paper. There was a map, a date and a time. “The clinic is in Singapore General Hospital. Pretty close to our school, so we’ll have no problem getting there after school. And this…” he passed me another sheet of paper. It was an official appointment letter issued by the Clinic. “We’ll need that to enter the clinic.”

“Isn’t that place meant to be for children?”

“No, that’s the misconception that most people have. The CGC also accepts teenage patients as long as you have the will to be cured. The age requirement is eighteen and below. And you qualify. Okay?”

I read the official appointment letter. The first appointment was for a Tuesday morning on which we had school.

“No worries about that. I’ve applied for an official leave from the school.”

“Official leave?”

“Well, on that day, we both will turn ill. And we’ll ‘buy’ MCs from doctors. Isn’t that official enough?”

I laughed.

“And when the doctor asks you to choose the next appointment date, give him a date where you and I can go together without skipping school. Okay?”

I nodded.

“Great.” As he was able to leave, I stopped him. “Huh?”

“Look, Jeff…” My eyes met his and I whispered, “Thank you. For everything.”

“My gosh, you’re close to tears.” He took a step closer to me and tapped my head. “Come on, it’s nothing much, okay? Cool it.”

“I…”

“Hey, Michelle ...” He turned serious. “You must understand, I’m doing this because I wanna help you, okay? I want you to believe in yourself and others. Just that. We cannot be a couple. You cannot be my girlfriend. I have my reasons. So, don’t you ever fall in love with me, okay?”

Moronic damned idiot! . Moron. Silly, damn, sick thick skinned freak!

“I’ll never fall in love with you!” I yelled back at the top of my voice. “I’ll never love you! And you!” I pointed at him in the chest, and then punched him in the chest repeatedly. “Don’t you fall in love with me! Don’t you turn back and tell me ‘I love you!’! You hear me, Jeff Ker? You hear me?! Me, Michelle Lim, will never, ever fall in love with Jeff Ker!”

“Cool down-” he whispered.

“And you, Jeff Ker, you’ll better don’t fall in love with me, coz’ I’ll never love you!” I gave him a final punch before I stepped back. My heart was beating a lot faster and my body was jerking up and down uncontrollably. “You cannot be my boyfriend! I have my reasons! Okay! Don’t fall in love with me!”

I turned and ran off. A few tears fell. And while I ran, I tore up the two pieces of paper that Jeff had passed to me.

Woots . What does that imply? Whats the reason behind Michelle's reaction? Stay tuned to FM lovingyouasalways .

Til then ,

Derrick , Signing off

2007-09-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

Phillipians Chapter 2 .

Imitating Christ's Humility

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Lord , May your blessings be upon all that come across You. May your love pour down on us , Of such like the rain. Father , i pray that you would continue to speak to me daily , to do your work as your servant. Lord , give me the words to speak as i share this Father whom loves me dearly to people who needs you too . Lord , i also pray for my friends who don't know you to experience you. Lord , Your name is exalted high . I will live my life for you. Discard my worldly ways! For I am your servant , not the world. When the day shall come where satanist will torture me , I will stand by faith in you . Lord , Come amidst of us . Come and show these gentiles .. That You are almighty and worthy of all praise . Lord , i thank you , Let the lives of youths be lead to You forever . Lord i pray for backsliders . I pray that you would begin to speak to them .. Touch them again just as You did , Let their faith arise for you glory ! Lord , we thank You and we give You all our praise .. In Jesus name i pray of all these , Amen.

The anticipated Chapter!

2007-09-10T18:49:00.000+08:00

Chapter 5

There was a long period of silence. I wiped my tears off but they kept on coming. Jeff stroked me gently on my back, as if it would help to stop my sobbing. In that moment, I really wished I would wake up in the comfort of my bed and realize that everything had just been a dream.

I guessed I had regretted telling Jeff everything. No one knew about all this except Landy. I had tried so hard to bury my past but Jeff’s persistence had caused me to dig it out. I pushed Jeff off, knowing I could not lay my head on his shoulder forever. To my surprise, he was wearing a smile, not at all surprised by my story.

“And you believe you caused the death of your mother? Because of the ‘curse’ that you have?” he said.

I nodded.

“Silly, Michelle. There’s a word known as ‘coincidence’. It just happened to be a coincidence.”

This time round, I shook my head. “A few days after my mother’s death, I had a quarrel with one of my friends. In the midst of the quarrel, I…” I paused again. It was hard to dig out a past that had been buried away for so long. “I said, ‘You’re so stubborn, your boyfriend is gonna leave you soon!’. And a few days later, her boyfriend broke up with her.”

“Well, two coincidences.”

“I once scolded a taxi driver for speeding. I said he would soon get into an accident if he continued to speed. He ignored my warnings and the next day, the newspaper reported that a taxi had smashed onto a tree. Luckily the taxi driver suffered no serious injury. I’ve always hoped it was just coincidences, Jeff. It’s not. It’s a curse. I’m cursed. Every bad thing I say will come true.”

“That’s the reason why you’re so quiet? So… introverted?”

I nodded. “More or less. Trust me, it’s not coincidences. There’s more examples of my curse. I dare not talk, for fear I may ‘accidentally’ curse others. It’s not my fault.”

Jeff bit his lip. A few seconds later, he mouthed, “I remembered you once said you’ve got friends outside JC. Is it true?”

“Just one friend. Name’s Landy. Strangely…” I stopped, wondering if I should tell Jeff about Landy or not. I thought, since I had already told him so much, why not tell him about Landy as well? “She isn’t affected by my curses. I had accidentally cursed her a few times but she seems to be immune to it. Nothing happens after my curses. Hence she has always been my best friend.”

I told him more about Landy, on how we first met and how she visited me frequently just for a chat. “My grandmother will open the door for her when I’m not in. However my grandmother always forgets she does that. She has poor memory and poor eyesight.”

“Landy must have been a good friend to come by for a chat.”

“Yeah.” I said, a bit annoyed by that pointless remark.

“So she knew about your ‘curse’ as well? And encouraged you to avoid talking to others?”

“That’s right.” I replied. “She had seen how people suffered under my curse. That’s the reason why she prefers me to keep quiet.”

“Okay…” Jeff muttered then closed his eyes, obviously trying to think of something to say.

I stared at his closed eyes. Why had I told him so much? Maybe it was to tell him the reason why I did not like the idea of the free-style play. Maybe it was also to tell him that my quietness was not my fault. Maybe to let him paint a better image of me in his mind.

“Remember your promise just now?” he suddenly said, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, believe in me now. Say this after me ‘I don’t have a curse.’”

“But I-”

“Remember your promise!” he exclaimed, cutting my sentence. “Now, repeat after me… ‘I don’t have a curse’.”

I guessed I just had to play along to humour him. “I don’t have a curse. Silly.”

“No! Just say ‘I don’t have a curse’. No ‘silly’ behind. Come on, try again.”

I shrugged. Was he childish or was I too matured? “I don’t have a curse.”

“Good. Now say ‘I am just having a minor mental illness that can be cured after seeing a psychiatrist.’”

“No!” this time, I yelled. “No, I, you… you-” I stopped myself at that very moment. I was going to say “you idiot”, but that would equal to cursing him. I just glared at him, wanting so much to scold him. “I’m not sick.” I sneered.

“Believe in me. Remember your promise? Believe in me! Say after me!”

“I’m not sick.”

“Believe in me. Believe me! You’ll not fail if you believe!”

“I’m not sick. I’m cursed.”

“Believe me!”

Once again, I fell into silence. Knowing that I would not win this argument, I said, “I don’t have a curse. I am just having a minor mental illness that can be cured after seeing a psychiatrist.”

Jeff nodded. “Good. I’ll call the shrink tomorrow, and we’ll book an appointment, okay? I’ll accompany you to the shrink.”

“What?!” I yelled instantly. “No way!”

“Look, Michelle, there’s still five more minutes to the hour. You should still believe me, alright? You need a doctor.”

“No I don’t!”

“Then prove it to me! If the doctor can’t cure you, then I’ll give up!”

I had never seen a shrink before. In my impression, a shrink looks like the beautiful Kelly Chen, the actress who acted as one in the movie “Infernal Affairs”. She would just listen and the patient will do the talking. The patient will feel better after taking some medication and he or she will be cured. Silly, isn’t it? How can anyone’s accumulated mental illness get better after saying everything and popping a few pills? I could not believe Jeff had just suggested I do that.

“No.” I said.

“I’ll go with you. Every appointment. Please.”

He would go with me? I pondered on that. For the longest period of time, I had always been alone. Now this silly weirdo had just proposed to accompany me for those silly appointments. I frowned, lowering my eyebrows to a V shape. Was he trying to break my routine?

“Are you trying to break my routine? Change my life?” I said my thoughts aloud.

“Yes. I wanna break your routine. I wanna change your life.”

This was getting sillier. I had been lonely for more than three years. What could he possibly do? I guessed the best he could do was to mess up my life. Like recommending me to see a shrink. Silly, silly Jeff. Really silly. Asking me to believe in him, to believe that he would be able to change my life…

“…for the better.” He added suddenly.

For the better? I stared up at the stars. Maybe I was trying to avoid him. But all of a sudden, I said, “When is the first appointment?”

It was my heart speaking.

He told me he had to check everything first. Upon our agreement, we climbed down the playground and made our way to the bus-stop. After waiting for a few minutes, we realized that it was close to one in the morning.

“Sorry, I don’t have enough cash with me.” He said.

“Me too.”

His face brightened up. “Then I’ll walk you home, and I’ll walk home after that!”

I wanted so much to smile. To laugh at his silly antics. However, I just nodded. We were at West Coast and my house is at Jurong Extension. It would take more than an hour’s walk.

We started the long walk talking about many things. This was the first time I had spoken so much to another person other than Landy since my parents’ deaths. Jeff said that he was the only child in his family. His father died of cancer when he was just seven; hence he had a very close relationship with his mother. He said he learnt a lot of things when his father was dying. He told me how precious life could be, and said that we all came into this world for a purpose. “Happiness and sadness are not caused by your surroundings. They’re caused by your thinking.” He verbalized.

When I asked him about his plans for the future, he gave me an answer that really surprised me. “My plans for the future? Make you smile. Do something meaningful.”

We reached my house about an hour later. He was totally exhausted. Beads of sweats blanketed his forehead, but he was still smiling despite the weariness. “I’ll call you.” He said. “I’ll call you and tell you when we’ll meet up for the appointment. I’ll… see you around, eh?”

“Yeah.” I said. I realized he still had a long way to go from my house to his house at Bukit Batok. “You want me to get some cash for you to take a cab?”

I had expected him to say yes. He was massaging his neck and looked as if he wanted to vomit. However, he maintained his pride and muttered, “No, I’ll walk home. It’s good exercise.”

“Well, good for you. See you.”

After he left, I took a bath. Landy was my room, sleeping soundly on my bed. After my bath, the doorbell rang. It was two in the morning. Who could it be? I looked through the hole in the door. It was Jeff.

“Hey…” he said, resting his back on the wall. His face was pale white, as if he had just seen a ghost. His lips seemed to be wet and he smelled of puke. “Can you lend me twenty bucks? I’ll return it to you tomorrow.”

I passed him the money. “Return me something else. Not the twenty bucks. Something else that is worth twenty bucks.” What was I saying? Sometimes, I felt that I said stupid things to him.

“Okay.” He saluted me and said, “I’ll return you something else. Something that twenty bucks can’t buy.”

With that, he ambled off. I stared at the last of his shadow before I closed my door, and I did something I had never expected myself to do.

I smiled to myself.

Indian Thriller with English Lyrics!

2007-09-04T14:52:00.001+08:00

This Indian try to act as Michael Jackson. The way he bops his head is just .. Priceless!

I'll still be dere. ;D

2007-09-04T13:22:00.000+08:00

Hey dere. xDD
Ytd i saw this ah ma so ke lian. Almost 12 oclock le still sitting near the bus interchange selling tissues.. so i decided to buy some from her. >< . And just nice today i have flu.so i can use them xDDWhenever i have flu , i can stack up mountains of tissues infront of my comp table LOL!
Hey.. anyways , Hey.. I miss you ..frankly speaking , i dont forget my feelings easily.. especially for you.
xDD . Anything happens i'll still be dere .If you seen anything wrong , dont misunderstand. Im still single for ur sake. hehes. i feel like im so stupid saying all these but .. i don't care anymore if you see this or not . Its been hidden in my heart for almost 2 years.I don't expect you to have anything for me anymore , But if your happy in ur life , im happy for you too! Trust me. I guess you know who you are.. Cell group ppl , stop guessing. Its not her. =) And i've alrdy make my stand clear that day at Jades.
Im happy ur leading ur own life. Just , don't become emo okay? It'll harm you. Stay happy as always ,
Derrick. I'll go rest for now xDDD

Chapter5

2007-09-02T18:58:00.000+08:00

Chpt4 The deal with Landy

The taxi ride to West Coast Park took me fifteen minutes. By then, night had fallen and I had already stopped shedding tears. There were not many people around. Landy came an hour later and we climbed up the tall pyramid-shaped playground, lying on the ropes.

“You really want to tell him everything, don’t you?” Landy said. “Coz you feel like you’ve got a… bond with him.”

“He’ll get killed by me.” I whispered. “I don’t want danger to befall him.”

“But you really want to tell him about your problems. You really wanna tell him about your curse. I support you.”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, why not we play a game? If he’s here within fifteen minutes, you’ll tell him about your problems, okay? If not, we’ll sleep here for the night. Are you game for it?”

I looked up at the starless night. He would not be able to find me, I thought. “Deal.”

“Well then, I’m going down.” Landy reached down, grabbed the rope below and slowly made her way down.

“Huh?”

“Look down, my friend.” By then, Landy had reached the ground. She waved at me and I understood what she meant at the moment I looked down. Jeff, still in his uniform, walked past her. When he saw me, he smiled broadly and climbed up the ropes, flaunting his lean biceps. Within a few seconds he was sitting beside me.

“How did you know I was here?” I said. “Landy called you?”

“Who’s Landy?” Jeff shrugged and shook his head.

“The girl who just walked past you.”

“Did anyone walk past me just now?” he furrowed his brows. “I didn’t notice. I just saw you.”

“Then how did you know I’d be here?”

“I installed a tracer on your handphone. You know, like those tracers that secret agents use? I bought it on the black market. Cost me a bomb.”

I bit my lip and ignored his pointless remark.

“Michelle, can I tell you something?”

I nodded, stunned at his seriousness. He never usually bothered to request permission when he asked questions. What he had just said freaked me out. My eyes were fixed to the ground, my hand toying with the ropes that supported our weight.

“I know it’s one of the hardest things to do in the world… I know it’s like asking you to stuff your fist into your mouth or it’s like asking you to eat caterpillars but…” he paused. I shivered. Gosh, he looked really serious when he was not smiling. “Will you… will you, believe me?”

“Believe you?” I twisted my head, almost relieved. “What do you mean?” I was not expecting him to say something so simple.

“Lend me an hour of your time. In this hour, I really hope you can believe in everything I say. Will you?”

I clenched my hand into a fist, thinking hard. I then recalled the deal I had with Landy. “Okay, I believe. Now, what do you want to say?”

“Tell me about your problems. Michelle, you’ll not fail if you keep trying.”

“No! No one can help-”

“Michelle!” And he did it: He held my hand and cried, “Believe me!”

I shook my head a few times, trying hard to believe him. I will not fail if I keep trying? I had always been trying… but I always failed. I’d given up hope on everything, choosing instead to live in my own world.

A minute passed silently. I gazed fixedly at the starless sky. Time seemed to be crawling by callously. I grabbed a rope, preparing to leap down when Landy’s words came to mind again. With that thought, I looked up at Jeff. His eyes darted towards mine. It was then I realized he was still holding on to my left hand.

“Believe me.” He repeated as he released my hand. I felt a surge of loss. “What is the reason that causes you to be so reserved? How did your parents… pass away?”

Tears started to well up in my eyes. I wanted so much to lay my head on his shoulder but I feared he might feel uncomfortable. I shook my head a few times to hold back my tears. It was not an easy task. “I killed them.”

“Tell me more. Let me help.”

“You can’t help!” I yelled, my voice echoing in the quiet night.

“Believe in me!”

“You wouldn’t-”

“You have to be-”

“It’s too complica-”

“Believe me!”

“No one can help-”

“I can help you. I really can. Let me help, please. Believe in me.”

Somehow, my heart melted and I gave in.

“I was born into a perfect family. I had a father who drove a taxi and a mother who cooked for others.” I started, not daring to face him.

“That’s very good. Go on.”

“We lived simply, yet happily. My dad worked seven days a week. Every night, I would wait for my father to buy supper for us. The three of us would eat while watching television. That late night meal was the only time for us to be together. I would tell them about the new bully at school. They would teach me how to fight back.”

“You’ve got good parents.” Jeff cut in, obviously just to prove that he was still listening.But I darted at him "Would you let me finish my story?Or would you rather not hear it?" He immediately shooked his head . Jeff's reaction is funny , I laughed to myself.

“Life was perfect. Just so perfect. Until one day… one day…” Whenever the memories flowed back, I would choke on my tears. Jeff patted me on my back, encouraging me to keep my composure. I knew if I was to tell him about myself, I would have to overcome those memories. “One day… that day…” I took a long, deep breath. “It all happened.”

“The day started like any other day. My father ate his breakfast in a rush and then went to work. As usual, I yelled ‘Drive carefully, Dad’ to him before he stepped out of the house. I was in school, listening to the teacher telling us everything about how apples drop to the ground when I saw my mother outside the classroom.

“I remembered that day, we were supposed to have a spelling test yet I had forgotten to bring the exercise book. I thought my mother was just there to pass me my book. Little did I expect it to be something more than just a book.

“She grabbed my hand and we left the school. No words were exchanged. We went into a taxi, and when she cried, I sensed something was wrong. Then she hugged me, and I knew it was bad news.”

I paused. I needed a break from the bad memories flooding back. Jeff flashed his trademark smile and patted my shoulder. We stayed that way for a few more minutes.

“My father had died in a car accident. In his desperate attempt to fetch a passenger, he neglected his own safety. A lorry crashed his car. He died instantly. I was only twelve then. I cried everyday, waiting for my supper to come. But every night, only memories of my Dad came back. I could no longer tell him about the new bully that came to my school.

“My mother, strangely, indirectly blamed me for his death. She claimed that had I not told my father to drive carefully, he might not have died. It made no sense at all. With my father’s death, my mother quit her job and turned into a drunkard. She would return every night stinking of alcohol. I had no idea where she got the money.

“I was totally depressed with my broken family. I met a group of friends when I was in Secondary One in a stairway. They introduced to me ways to relax: smoking, drinking. I was lured in by the luxury of not having to care. I smoked my days away.”

“I cannot imagine you were once a smoker.” Jeff said.

“I was. Home was just a place for me to seek quarrels. I tried my best to stay away from my house. My mother would always call me names like ‘jinx’ or ‘bitch’, even in her sober mind. Finally, one day, I had enough. I put all my clothes into a bag and shouted to her, ‘I hope you’ll die in a car accident, just like daddy. And I hope you’ll get crushed by a big lorry!’ After that, I stayed in my friend’s house for two days.

“And two days later…” I was shuddering now, my tears rolling out like there was no tomorrow. I tried to brush them away but they kept coming. I felt like jumping down to the ground now, ending the ordeal once and for all. Jacky’s hand was still clutching mine. Without warning, he embraced me, his body warming me up. He was shuddering along with me. I dropped my head onto his shoulder and whispered, “Two days later, my mother was crushed by a big lorry. She died on the spot.”

Chapter 3

2007-08-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

Chpt3.Landy

I first met Landy in a “magical” way.My father died when I was twelve. My mum blamed me for his death. Since then, I learnt about life the bad way: I hung out with a group of hooligans who smoked at stairways and got their pocket money from stealing. I always felt a great sense of satisfaction whenever we successfully shoplifted a few items.One fateful day, we plotted to steal shoes again. Stealing shoes had always been a routine for us. Our targets were usually World of Sports, Royal Sporting House or Bata. Our plan had never failed before, until that day.Three of us entered Royal Sporting House, wearing stern expressions. We pretended to browse around the clothes section, then, as we progressed to the shoes section, we showed signs of excitement by saying “This is nice!” or “I wonder if they’ve got size six for this pair or not?”A sales assistant marched to us. He looked young, and we believed he was only a temp there. We smiled, knowing a temp was an easier target. “What size are you looking for, Mdm?”I always felt proud to be called “Mdm” at the age of thirteen. My friend, Maggie, replied indifferently, “Do you have size six for this?” She showed the sales assistant a particular design. It cost a hundred bucks.The sales assistant politely told us to wait and went off. Within the same minute, he came back with a pair. Maggie tried it on and it fitted her perfectly. However, she frowned and then looked up to the sales assistant with a seductive smile. “This feels too small. Do you have, like, size six and a quarter?”We all howled in laughter. The sales assistant looked amused. He put on his smile and said, “How about size seven?”“Will do!” Maggie chirped. “You go look for size seven. If there isn’t any I’ll take this one.” She began to trace the design of the shoe with her finger. The sales assistant hinted at her to take the shoe off but Maggie was totally immersed in appreciating the beauty of the shoe. Finally the sales assistant gave up and went off in search for size seven.In one smooth motion, I took out a Royal Sporting House plastic bag from my bag. Maggie took off the shoe and threw it into the box. We glanced around the busy shop. When we confirmed it was safe, we placed the shoebox into the plastic bag and I strolled out of the shop, feeling victorious.No one came forward to stop me. The alarm did not ring. After all, how could anyone steal a pair of shoes? They were all supposed to be stacked neatly in the storeroom. When I was out of the shop, I pictured Maggie and the sales assistant quarreling in my mind. Maggie would not lose; after all, customers are always right. I could only pity the poor sales assistant who must be wondering if he did place the size six shoes back in the storeroom. He might even consider quitting his job.While I was lost in my thoughts, someone tapped my shoulder. A pretty girl with shiny long hair smiled at me and said, “Put that pair of shoes down. They’re coming to get you.”I studied her. She looked a little older than me and had the kind of features that any teenager would envy. Her eyes were as round as her eyeballs and the dimples on her cheeks were deeply curved to perfection. “What the heck are you talking about?” I demanded.“Trust me. That sales assistant is the supervisor, not a temp. He has met all sorts of people. He’s coming for you. Drop it, or you’ll regret it forever!”I stared at her. She seemed to know everything. After an internal debate, I decided to trust her and threw the shoes into a rubbish bin. A few minutes later, to my surprise, the sales assistant, together with two security officers, came up and apprehended me. When they found nothing on me, they gave up and I let out a long sigh of relief. It was my closest encounter with a criminal record.After that dreadful incident, the girl showed up at my house. I had no idea how she obtained my address. We chatted a little. I later knew her to be Landy. As time went by, we became good friends. She was older than me by four years and was working full-time as a clerk. My mum died when I was fourteen and I cut off links with all my friends save Landy.Somehow or other, Landy stayed with me through thick and thin. Knowing that I disliked going out, she came to my house to chat with me instead. If there was only one blessing in my life, it was definitely having a friend like Landy.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was so ironically hilarious when we realized our play lasted only five minutes if we suffered no NG. Our play was supposed to be “ten to fifteen” minutes long.“Look, I think we’ll have to rewrite the script.” Our so-called director, Delvin, suggested. He was one of our classmates with the most outstanding leadership qualities. “I’m open to all ideas.”We ransacked our minds and a few ideas were proposed but none of them seemed to work. Amid the mood of depression which had descended over the room, Jeff stood up and told us, “Trust Michelle and me. We’ll be able to prolong it with our acting. Won’t we, Michelle?”I sank deeper into my chair and pondered. What did he mean by that? He was smiling at me again. I felt my hair standing up. What was he thinking now? I bit my teeth, hoping that he would not suggest some outrageous proposal that would embarrass both of us.“It’ll be a lot more realistic if we act out the play without directly following the script. For example, if the audience laughs, we’ll extend the humorous scene. If the audience is crying, we’ll extend the sad scene. Of course, that would mean we’d have to add our own lines to the play. You understand?”After some brainstorming, they all agreed to that idea. I wanted so much to debate, to confess my disagreement, but upon seeing their exhausted faces, I consented. After we were dismissed, we all headed in different directions except Jeff and me. We stayed together as I wanted to confront him about the idea.“Why propose that stupid idea?” I probed.“For fun, Michelle! For fun! And for authenticity! Don’t you think the whole play will look a lot more realistic if we don’t follow a script? I mean-”“You won’t understand! I need to follow a script! I can’t… I can’t talk well. I… I’m afraid I will say the wrong thing and…” I choked on my words and halted.“Tell me what’s stopping you from opening your heart, Michelle. Please.”I was shaking softly. His warm hands embraced my shoulders and he lowered his voice. “Please tell me more about yourself. Why you’re keeping everything to yourself. Why you’re living in your own world. Please.”“Get away!” I pushed him off, my face burning red. After I had taken a few steps back, my cell phone rang. It was Landy. I rejected the call and turned back at Jeff. “You won’t be able to help me! No one can! No one!”“Let me help you, please! Believe me! You won’t fail if you keep trying!”“No! You can’t, you’ll never! I’m going to withdraw from that freaking play, and you and your freaking good friends can be Juliet!”“Michelle-”“I killed my father, my mother and many other people! I’m a freaking murderer, a freakking killer, a freaking sinner!”I turned and dashed out of the hall. The moment I was outside the school, I raised my hand and a taxi stopped. I let out a soft moan of despair before I swung open the door and went off in search of respite.

Taking a Break

2007-08-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

Heya Dudes and Dudettes!Im taking a break frm the short story . Anyways , Thx to Mal's mom for bringing me out for dinner for the past week. First it was Pizza Hut which almost cost up to $100! And ytd was Sakae Sushi . It was fun . And i must admit , I do envy such a heart warming family.. hahas ..
Anyways , I don't know why.. but .. this lonely and sad feeling juz keeps creeping up on me for no reason. It might sound absurd but .. I cant forget the feelings I had for a girl i once had a crush on during my primary 6 days .. hahas..
Miss those days in malacca with her too.. Wells, i miss my friend Wang Cai whom passed away due to a car accident .. Its been awhile now .. Hes those kinda super optimistic person who feels no despair even at the worst case senarios . Suddenly , Kept singing ..

Its funny when you find urself , Looking from the outside . Im standing here , but all i want is to be over there .. How could I let myself believe miracles could happen .. But now i have to pretend that i dont rly care..

Then i rmb-ed . This phrase .. Memories are nice. But thats just what they are..
Keep it in your hearts and it will be sentimental .. I dont know why.. i feel emo today.Just like pastor Daniel said , this feeling creeps up on you sometimes..
I feel like climbing up the highest mountain and scream out to my heart's content. I think im under spiritual attack .. But im gonna keep a low profile now .. had a thought .. wondering if i should continue serving God .. i dont know .. But i told myself , even if i dont serve God , i wont serve Satan .. But then again .. Is this rly inevitable? I feel so empty inside all of a sudden ..
Whrs all the " God i give my heart & my life to you feeling" gone to?Did i eat it up or did my lies cover it up..? I loathe Satan .. so much i wanna tear his face apart.. For if there wasnt him the world wouldnt be dying like it is now .. Even me ..i feel like im dying..spiritually.. Argh .. headaches .. I think i'll just calm down abit before i do anything stupid ..

1john1:9 If we confess our sins,He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness .

This Christianity walk is just like .. Imagine
You are hanging over a clift with a hand . You feel exhausted . You look below and you see a plot of land filled with gold coins and delicacies enough to satisfy all your desires . But If you go down , you might break a leg or two and die without anyone knowing. You have no energy to climb up yourself. Then , here comes a man in white who seems so peaceful. He then reaches out his hands waiting for you to grab it so that he can pull you up.But you are afraid .He is a stranger and you wouldnt dare look at him in the face.. He is God . When we are in times of need , he will reach out his helping hand to pull you up . But , we sometimes , stubbornly , refuse his help and to the extent , we sometimes wanna run away from him.. Gahh.. ive been thinking too much .. my headache is getting worst .. I think ill end it here.. Til then , Derrick

Chapter 2

2007-08-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

Anyways , i changed Zen's name to Jeff

Landy.

When I reached home that evening, Landy was lying on the sofa, crunching a packet of potato chips I had just brought a few days ago.“How’s your first day of school?” she asked. She had small eyes and a sharp nose to match her jaws. I had always believed that she is one of the most beautiful women in the world. In fact, for a long period of time, I had hoped I had the same countenance as her. I even desired to live her life: Carefree, with boys lining up to hold her hand.I told her everything about Jeff and the embarrassment that he had caused me. Landy is the only person that I can pour my sorrows to. She will often drop by my house for a chat. My grandmother always opens the door for her if I am not in.“So what, you’re going to avoid him for the next two years?” Landy said. “I bet he’s going to stick to you these two years.”“You know I can’t talk to him.” I muttered. “I can’t harm him.”“Makes sense.” Landy poured herself a cup of coffee and relaxed on the sofa. “Don’t you fall in love with him.”“I’ll never!” I retorted almost instantly. “I mean… I …”“Never is a very strong word. Remember your curse.” Landy reminded. “Remember. If you fall in love with him, you’ll harm him.”I lay beside her and memories of how my mother died flowed back without mercy. “I know…”We spent the next two hours trying to figure out how to stay away from Jeff. And two hours later, we slept on the sofa with no solutions in mind.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
There was no way for me to avoid Jeff completely.At classes, he would volunteer to sit beside me and I could not reject him. He would try very hard at starting a conversation but I would always hint him to shut up by giving him a silent glare. It often worked, but after a few minutes, he would be talking again.During lunch break, we would eat together. He always offered to help me to buy the drinks. I wanted to tell him off, to say that I preferred to eat alone, but when he returned with my favorite drink, I gave in and just ate my meal in silence, trying hard to keep my eyes off him. Rumours about us being an item surfaced after a few weeks. Jeff was especially concerned about disclaiming them. However, no one believed him. One day he even threatened to beat anyone who spread the rumours, and that was the first time I saw his trademark smile vanishing from his face.“Why do you get so angry when people say something about us?” I asked him that day.“I don’t wanna spoil your reputation. What if no one dares to woo you?” he answered matter-of-factly. “I don’t wanna destroy your future.”“Then why are you still sticking to me everyday?” I probed on.It took him a while to register the question. “I…” he smiled once more. “I wanna help you. To see you smile.”He turned away then whispered again, “To see your smile.”“Why?”“I want to do something meaningful while I can.”Ironically, I frowned and brought the conversation to a halt. I told Landy about whatJeff said to me that night, and we spent over three hours pondering on what he meant. And as usual, we managed to conclude nothing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Four months had passed since we started school.I remembered that on a Tuesday morning, Mrs Goh, our Literature lecturer, suddenly declared, “Every year, we have a Drama competition organized by the Literature Club. Every class is encouraged to send a team forward. This competition, I believe, will help a lot in your Literature. So I’m going to get this entire class to join.”The students whispered protests but Mrs Goh insisted. “Every one of you will help out in creating a play.”Michael, one of the noisier guys, volunteered to be the scriptwriter. We spent the next fifteen minutes trying to find a suitable plot. In the end we settled for the final scene in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. It was the scene where Romeo would drink the poison and Juliet wake up to find a dead Romeo. However, there would be an interesting twist to it. They would speak in “Singlish” to add a Singaporean touch. And Juliet would drink the poison instead. We reckoned that would add points to our play.“Okay, who’s good at acting here?” Mrs Goh glanced around the class. I was toying with my fingers, not concentrating on the discussion. “Let’s find a Juliet first… hmm, whose name starts with ‘J’?”“Me!” Jeff raised up his hand in ecstasy. “Me, me!”That idiot.“You wanna be Juliet?” Mrs Goh mocked and the class erupted into laughter. “We need a girl, Jeff. It’s supposed to be a sad scene, not a funny scene where a macho guy acts as Juliet.”Jeff giggled and announced, “Okay, I volunteer to be Romeo then.” Sighs of relief washed past several male students. “But I have a request.”“Which is?”I looked up at Jeff. He was staring at my eyes. Oh, shit. I did not like that look. “I want Michelle to be Juliet. The whole class cheered as if Andy Lau had just sang a song.That guy just would not let me study in peace, would he?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
We had our first rehearsal in the school hall a few days later. It was unlike the normal tragic ending in Romeo and Juliet. We had to add in “leh”s, “lah”s and “oei”s into the dialogue to make it sound more Singlish. I wondered if it would reverse the scene from tragedy to humour.“No… cannot be… you cannot die one…” I cried without tears. Jeff lay on the floor with his eyes closed. His lips were trembling, threatening to laugh any moment. “If you die, I also die then!” He could control it no longer. He chuckled out loud, infecting the entire hall with laughter as well.And I always frowned when they laughed because it would prolong the rehearsal. Every time there was a rehearsal scheduled after school, I would think of numerous excuses to skip it, but in the end I would still attend the rehearsal.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I told Landy about my role as Juliet in the play, she laughed for fifteen minutes. “You, Juliet? Juliet!”I had not expected my best friend to react in that way. Actually, I was hoping for some understanding from her. I kept quiet and when she sensed my displeasure, she lowered her voice and said, “You don’t like it?”“I don’t like it.” I answered. “I don’t like talking.”“Are you going to ‘curse’ anyone in the script?”“No. I’ll be following the script. No worries.”“Then it shall be fine.” Landy replied. “You will enjoy yourself. After all, Jeff is Romeo. It will create a romantic-”“Landy!” I cut her. “Don’t start!”My grandmother came out of her room and stared at both of us with her eyebrows lowered. She was three-quarters blind. She hobbled towards the kitchen with the help of her walking stick and muttered, “Is that Landy?” she did not wait for Landy to answer. “It’s late. Landy, don’t you have to work tomorrow?”“Tomorrow is my day off, granny. I’m going to have a nice, long chat with Mich-, I mean, Juliet!” Landy exclaimed and we broke into a string of laughter. I helped my grandmother to the toilet and then back to her room. When we were alone once more, Landy persisted, “That Jeff seems to be interested in you, Michelle.”“Don’t give a damn. I will never like him, period.”“Let’s try to analyze what he meant when he said he wanted to help you.”With that, our girls’ talk lasted for more than three hours before we slept. And yes, you’ve guessed it; we did not come to any conclusions.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
We were supposed to get a theme song for our play.Almost everyone had his or her own views. Some preferred love songs whereas others preferred classics. A few of us even thought that including a song in the play was a bad idea. After an intense discussion, we decided to browse through HMV at The Heeren to see if we could find a suitable song.When we reached the place, everyone else rushed into HMV as if they were children at Toys’R’Us. I sat at the edge of a fountain outside HMV. To my surprise, Jeff did not go in as well. He sat beside me and grinned. “Not going in?”I shook my head. The loud music inside the store always gave me headaches.“Well, me too. Bad for the ears.” He said, slapping his ears. Then he laughed at his own joke. “Well then, I’ve dug out another secret of yours. Secret number ninety-one of Michelle Lim: She does not like music stores. It’s the same secret as mine. I don’t like music stores as well.”“Good for you.”“Then how did you get your music CDs?”“Through a friend.” Notice the friend was singular. I have only one friend and her name is Landy.“Okay, great, secret number ninety-two of Michelle Lim: She does have friends outside Junior College! That’s good! That’s very good! That’s damn really freaking good!”“It’s not funny.” I mumbled and darted my eyes up. “I’m going up to the Adidas Shop to have a look.”“Count me in.” We went up and browsed for about ten minutes then met up with our classmates. They had all decided on a theme song. It was Only Love by Trademark. Jeff and I both agreed on that as well.We all went back to school that evening for another round of rehearsal. The play was due in three months’ time. For the first time, we did the entire play without an N.G. The song was played first, and then it faded out as I entered the scene to witness an unconscious Jeff on the floor. I walked slowly towards him and sat beside him, my tears dripping (the magical eye drops).“Romeo… no… cannot be… you cannot die one…” I pressed my head to his chest and I could hear his heart beating. “You promise me so many things… so many things! You must not die… open your eyes leh…” I tightened my grip and then yelled aloud, “No!”The song played again for a while. When it faded away, I held up the cup of poison beside me and said, “What for I live when you die already…? If you die, I also die then!” Then I gulped down the ‘poison’ (it was chestnut water) and within the same second, I shook my head gently and lost my balance.The chorus of the song played for a minute or so, loudly. Behind my closed eyes, I could feel Jeff moving a little, and then his voice came. “Juliet? Juliet! Juliet?!”He must have found out about the poison when he groaned, “No, Juliet…” I knew he had stabbed himself when he slumped onto my back.Now I knew why he volunteered to be Romeo. He only needed to memorize two words and got to lie on a pretty girl’s back. Smart guy.

Your Curse.

2007-07-22T09:28:00.000+08:00

Heya Guys. Anyways , Neubian Gents was GOOD. I LOVE Pastor Dave. he Rox.
Alright.I'd like to say something . which is .. i'd like to post my own written novels here on my blog frm now on =) . First , it shall be a romance story . . Enjoy .. Give me ur comments. I re-write the whole story . =D

Your Curse .
Chapter 1
I had never expected my first day of school to be so interesting.It would take at least an hour for the bus to arrive at my new school, National Junior College. I had brought along only a small bag that contained a few pieces of blank paper, a pencil case and a Discman. I presumed the teachers would not teach us anything on the first day of school. After all, they claimed that today was supposed to be an “Orientation Day”. I was really not looking forward to it. In fact, I dreaded it.I managed to find a seat in the crowded bus. Most of the passengers were students in their tucked-out uniforms. When the bus started moving, I closed my eyes, ready to sleep through the hour-odd ride that would take me all the way from Boon Lay to Bukit Timah.“Hey, hello!” someone in the standing crowd yelled. I woke up from my dazed dreams and looked up. A guy standing near the entrance smiled at me. He was wearing the same uniform as mine. “Hello!” he yelled again.Almost all the passengers looked at me. The bus was at Bukit Batok road, which meant it was still pretty far from National Junior College. On closer scrutiny, I realized it was Zen , one of my secondary schoolmates. I did not reply. Instead, I searched for my Discman, acting as if I did not hear him.“Hello to the girl searching for something in her bag!” Zen shouted again. This time, a few passengers giggled. I kept my head low and finally found my Discman. Without hesitation, I capped the earphones onto my ears. “Hello to the girl listening to a Discman!” he continued. I pressed the ‘play’ key continuously but no sound came out from the earphones. “Hello to the girl wearing the same uniform as me!” he pressed on. The batteries must have run out of juice. Not now! “Hello to the girl wearing glasses! Hello! Hello! Hello!” Almost all the passengers were waiting for me to acknowledge Zen.“Hello toMichelle !” He finally said my name. I knew there was only one way to shut him up and put an end to my embarrassment. I smiled at him. He seemed pleased and never said anything anymore.The bumpy journey went on for another thirty minutes. He alighted at the same stop as me, but I was quick enough to evade him and dashed to the main gate of the school as fast as I could.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I did not know Zen that well. In fact, we had only held one conversation when we were in secondary school, and it lasted for less than three minutes. We were never in the same class.Jacky was one of the popular guys in school. He is handsome and can crack jokes really well. Many girls drooled over him, but the rumour was that he did not have a steady girlfriend.One day, when we were in Secondary Three, Jacky was invited on stage to crack a joke during an assembly period. If he could get everyone to laugh, he would win a prize. He thought for a while before he said, “There was once a …” I was not listening to him. I was totally lost in my own thoughts. When he finished his joke, there was a long period of silence. Suddenly the hall exploded into ripples of laughter. My classmates around me laughed like mad people. Even the teachers laughed out loud. I frowned, unable to fathom what kind of joke could set everyone laughing so insanely.When the laughter subsided, a teacher was about to pass Zen a prize when he declined to take it. “Someone didn’t laugh.” He announced. For no logical reason, the audience laughed again. He pointed to my direction and proclaimed, “That girl didn’t laugh.” I glanced around me, hoping he was not referring to me.“Which girl?” the teacher asked, looking around.“That girl with the glasses and long hair.”The teacher scrutinized all the students in my direction. “You mean the girl with tied up hair?”“Yeah, that’s the one. She never laughs!”I clenched my hand into a fist. How can a big guy like him be so petty?“Michelle!” the teacher said. “You didn’t laugh?”I kept quiet. To have my name called out in an assembly did not feel good. “Michelle, can you please wake up from your dreams and laugh at my joke?” Jacky uttered and some people giggled loudly. “I beg you.”My classmates urged me to stand up. Feeling the pressure and the lack of time to think of anything else, I stood up and said sarcastically, “Ha, ha, ha.” Then I sat down and buried my head under my hands.Everyone laughed out loud at my scornful remarks. I promised never to forgive that Zen Ker for embarrassing me in front of three hundred people.After school that day, he came forward and apologized. “Hey, I’m sorry about just now. Was just trying to create some comical effects. I hope you’re not offended?”I shook my head.“Zen Ker.” He introduced himself.“I know. The famous and arrogant Zen Ker.” I had not expected myself to say that. “Michelle. Michelle Lim .”“I never expected myself to be arrogant. But famous? I agree on that.” He beamed. “Are you always so introverted and… unfriendly?”“Unfriendly?” I glared at him. “I never expected myself to be unfriendly, Zen.” I walked off quickly, not wanting to continue the conversation.“But you’ve got like… no friends at all!”I did hear his reply, but I acted as if I did not hear it. I continued to walk off. In fact, what he said was true. I had classmates but I had like… no friends at all. Except for one. Just one.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Actually, there was no way for me to completely avoid Zen in National Junior College.He was everywhere. I had tried all means to avoid him but my efforts were futile. “Hey, Michelle. What a coincidence! We’re going to be schoolmates for the next two years as well!”“Yeah.” I replied.“What class are you in?”“03A20”“Oh my gosh!” he covered his mouth and jumped around like a madman. “We’re in the same class! Can you believe it!? Zen and Michelle in the same class! How cool is that?”He sounded really mad. I was imagining how a monkey would blend into my class. The bell rang soon after that. We strolled towards the hall and searched for our class number. He offered to sit beside me. I glared at him but he just smiled. I had no reason to reject him therefore I agreed to it.Firstly the principal spoke to us on the history of the school, then several departmental heads of the school took turns to tell us more about the school. We were, by then, trying hard to keep our eyes open. When they were done, we sang the school’s song with the lyrics in front of us.“Okay, as you all know, we’re going to have an orientation program for these first few days…” a teacher announced.“It’s going to be fun.” Zen whispered to me. “I’ve got a friend in J2. He told me it’s gonna be very exciting.”When I heard what he said, I regretted not skipping school today. We were led to the field class by class just like in primary school. Zen kept on telling me how excited he was.“Junior College life is going to be one of the best!” he blurted on. “You’re going to enjoy it, it’s unlike secondary school! There’re more freedom, homework are called tutorials, the teachers are called-”“Sorry, Zen…” I turned to him. “Would you please… shut up?”He just laughed it off and talked to other people, not feeling offended. But I felt something. I went to the toilet after that to wash off my tears. I had just asked Zen to shut up. I had just scolded him.I had just cursed Zen. Oh, damn it. What the heck had I done? I should just shut up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The objective of the first game we played was to remember each other’s name.Water balloons were thrown at students who forgot others’ names. After an hour, we were able to remember the name of every classmate. The next game was played with the aim of “recognizing voices”.The boys and girls were separated. A curtain partitioned them, and when a girl spoke, the boys had to guess who the girl was. After a few rounds, I was chosen to say something for the boys to guess.“Come on, say something! A joke, or something like that!” the seniors urged me.I did not know what to say, so I just muttered, “Ha, ha, ha.”Almost instantly, I heard Zen's voice on the other side. “It’s Michelle! Michelle Lim!, that thin girl!” "Ah, that idiot."Muttered Michelle.

Want the next chapter? I'll write it if 3 or more requests . xDD

BacK!

2007-07-20T18:06:00.000+08:00

HI!Havent been updating for awhile now .. Sry bout tt folks ! Tmr will be the NEUBIAN GENTS LIVE! IN CHURCH! Im sooooo excited have loads of fun!>Im ! Gonnahave loads of fun!Im glad Benedict , Malcolm & Wen Jun are coming! PRAISE THE LORD! Ill update again tmr kaes?!CYA!

ZORSE & My Day in Church.

2007-06-30T23:39:00.000+08:00

This is a cool article tt i came across at Michelle's blog! THIS IS SO COOL.

the horse and the zebra !@#$%^&*)#!@#$ then conceive this cross breed.
Well , Today's day in church was fun =D . NEW DISCIPLESHIP BOOK! Called FIRST STEPS! WEEEEEE! Then then , Today's sermon is about Prayer.
And I had my first communion today in COSBT.Then had praise and worship.
Met Isaac today on bus. Encountered God today. Everytime im in church , ill feel His strong presense and the Holy Spirit so much tt i feel like .. Tearing. Not tear paper. the other tear .LOL . Anyways. Thats pretty much .. ill end today's post here.

PSALMS 86:6-7 Hear my prayer , O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy.In the day of my trouble I will call to you,for you will answer me.

Saturday BBQ

2007-06-25T15:40:00.000+08:00

Welloooos!~ Did u miss me? xDD
Havent updated for awhile now .. Getting lazy ..
But anyways , Im gonna share about what my bunch of Crazy frens did during our cg outing ,which is the BBQ!.Yippee! Well , It was a pretty normal day.Woke up at 7.30 to prepare to go Weiwei's house.To meet up wif Julian & the rest to do last preparations for our BBQ.On the way , i coincidentally met Dawn and Koh Wei. As usual , Dawn is as mad and ..when i say mad , i mean MAD. Well , On that day , a spiritual attack happened to some of the members of NISSIWEIWEI .
Ahh.I hate this kinda stuff . Firstly , We kinda made a mess of Weiwei's house and talked so loudly Weiwei's parents got mad at us . T_T . IM SORRY!. We caused Weiwei & Julian to be scolded.Then Goofy ran out of the bungalow ._. Btw. Goofy is weiwei's doggy!Hes vry funny .xDD . He masturbates ._.
And yeah..Goofy ran out.So me Sam and Dawn chased after it .it is FAST.
*my shoe dropped off while i was running ._. *
Then , Julian's mood got rly messed up.She was vry upset from that scoldings..
We all can tell .. Then Jayme called . She said we pang seh her .. Actually..Kinda.. =xx i kinda forgot bout asking her along ._. IM SORRY JAYME.
Then Julian went off to find Jayme at her house and come to church together just to cheer her up . =)) . Ah Yi got into a fever and Hilly got caught up in a traffic jam.Devil ,u sure are smart.But not enough . In the end , Every1 got dere for the BBQ . Cause God was there for us and protected us . After the sermon , Ah Yi reached. We then laid our hands on him to pray for him . That was kinda ..1st time praying for someone liddat for me ._. . After we prayed for him , His temperature kinda went down abit ..Didnt feel so warm . LOL . It was cool .
Initially , i LOVED the BBQ.But im not sure for the others..I guess they pretty much liked it too .. i hope =xx . We took like.. 1 hour? to start the fire ._. and we kinda relied on the fire starters instead of the charcoal ._. AHHH . T_T .
After much hard work , the fire still didnt come ._. UNTIL , We prayed to God that our fire will start.And it did.Father Lord , i thank you for the times u have blessed us . (Father Lord i thank you for all you have done for us =) We all love you. ) Then we started cooking.It was FUN =)) . Sry Nico ._. i kinda deprived u the chance to cook ._. . He was eager to cook coz it was fun xDD .
Then ,We ate and drank .We then did our Praise and worship . WE SANG IN GOD'S GLORY!HALLELUJAH!Then Sly came along with uhh....i forgot his name ._. and then follo-ed by SISTER PING PING! LOL .Shes a nice person xDD
It was soon time for our games . We played the passing coin game .AHAHA. And the person who was caught did forfeits .. ._. to finish a piece of watermelon in 12 seconds . LOL . We gathered and 1st up was Dawn. She failed to finish it ..And i was standing infront of her Jia You-ing .. But after she failed , she threw the watermelon at me ._. IM THE MOST INNOCENT ONE T_T JIAYOU-ING FOR HER AND I GOT THAT IN RETURN . POOR ME T_T .
Then follo-ed by Nico.He coudn't stop laughing LOL . It was fun ..Ahahas. Nxt time we'll increase the time limit ._. Sorry Dawn for forcing u to gorge the watermelon down ._. Then ,me,Jayme,Dawn & Koh Wei went Mac for a short chat. *Private and Confidential* xDD . Then we all went home and God blessed me to be in time to catch the last few train home xDD . GOD BLESS US!
And now to end the Post , ill end it with a verse .
Psalms 116:6 The Lord protects the simplehearted;when I was in great need, he saved me. I Chose this verse as God protected us from the spiritual attack and bless us with a nice fire and a happy day . HALLELUJAH !Blessed to be a Christian. Oh Father Lord , I pray that even in our times of Joy that we will not forget you for you have blessed us with that joy.Father Lord , i thank you for blessing and protecting us from satan's evil plans . Father Lord , Weiwei told me that our cellgroup is kinda like the cg tt is doing best and the devil isn't fond of that idea and that hes vry *buay song* alrdy . Father Lord , Now is the time that all of us need you the most for your protection and ur blessings to be upon us . Father Lord i pray that we keep our faith in you so that it will make our fire for you even greater .Father Lord , Father God , you are the almighty One that deserves all praise for you are God , For u can make the impossibles possible and that you show us ur everlasting love and grace that we do not deserve. Father Lord , i thank you for protecting and blessing us and i pray in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord , AMEN.

Phew.Im Feeling so much better.xD

2007-06-19T20:14:00.000+08:00

Wellos!Im back once again.
Ahh..Finally..time to update my blog . xDD . Nth much to say bout today ..
DotA-ed afew rounds today. Then i went for Basketball training. The routine for every training starts wif running of 3 rounds of canal..But well.. i kinda cao - geng. LOL . I chatted wif this guy called Daniel. Told him about God .. Along the canal..dere were railings ..People were painting it..so when i ran .. i felt giddyness and headache coz of the odour ._. Then , we had to play against "B" boys .. Scored 1 firmly..then .. felt like vomitting .. but i played on . It was soon time for 2nd quarter..I told the coach about me feeling like vommiting..but..
he said.. "u vomit here lo" ._. Then i went to the grass and Sat there ..I kept praying to God..but i thought that..the onli cure to these headaches and giddyness is onli to vomit..So .. yea..i vomitted 4 TIMES in school.
Maybe its coz i onli ate 4 slices of bread for breakfast & i drank massive amount of water.Its alright anyway. xDD
Alright..tts all i wanna share for today.Be updating on thursday.Friendly match wif MARIS STELLA HIGH. God will bless me xDD. Oh yea.Saturday , tt Daniel guy might be coming to my church CoS(BT) and most likely join my cell group!O Father Lord , u have answered our prayers .Father Lord i pray that you'll open his heart once again back to u.Father Lord , i pray that u bless him from any spiritual attacks and that Jerene will come back to us this saturday . I thank you Father Lord and i pray in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord , Amen xDD .
Romans 12:14-16 Bless those who persecute you;bless and do not curse.Rejoice with those who rejoice ; mourn with those who mourn.Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud,but be willing to associate with people of low position.Do not be conceited. =)) O Father , We Love You

Julian is back O.o

2007-06-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

Hey hey hey!Wassup.Im bacK~
Today,Im Gonna share bout yesterday . Well..coz today nth much to talk about. So , Before meeting her, im like..ok, I've nvr met this Julian b4.Wondering how she looks like.Then Jayme told me . If u see her face u sure laugh de. Then i was like.. O.o..Can any1 even look tt funny to make u wanna laugh?I'd laugh if it was Ru Hua.The stupid variety show frm Taiwan -______-. Well, When i saw her,She wasnt tt funny looking . That day was uber uber fun.First time attend Pastor Daniel's preaching.It sure was powerful.I MISS PASTOR DAVE !!!! T_T. Then then , we played this icebreaker game whereby u haf to pass the coin arnd and guess hu has it..On the 1st round ..The coin dissapeared..It was kinda wierd..Anyways , We took another coin and continued playing.So..after awhile..the coin was found.. wierd. I told Jie Ming bout it today.He says it surely has something to do wif Nico.Ya noe..Maybe coz hes playful.But , i thought..Maybe not..the coin wasnt suppose to be wif him.hahas.Anyways..Had loads of fun during PnW. i sang until zao siah T_T !!FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I ZAO SIAH ULTI SO CHAM. T_T! . Then it was time for dinner.The cg sat in the cafe when Weiwei went out to get the food..She got pretty mad at us "guys" for being waiting to be served.Felt kinda guilty. LoLs.
Anyways, Theres pretty much all i wanna say. Be In Love With God!I Love All Of You!
Ephesians 4:14 We are no longer babies in the faith. We won't be like ships tossed around the waves. We won't be blown here and there by every new teaching.We won't be blown around by the cleverness and tricks of people who try to hide their evil plans

The Day After Our Camp~

2007-06-15T10:35:00.001+08:00

Alrighty!Im back after a long tiring camp.
It was fun initially.. =))). Went there , experienced God and confirmed i can speak in tongues!Hooray! xPP . On the last day of camp ,I was wif Jayme,Koh ba and Sam ba.The 3 of them kept pestering Brandon to let them in his condo..I sian half..Vry pai seh. However , he was nice ,Invited us into his house =) .Then after we left , we went to the pool and decided to dip our legs into the pool while sitting on a platform. The water was freezing cold.Best on a HOT sunny day.Then after awhile of chatting, i went crazy.Took off my shirt and jumped right in. LOL.
Now..it was RLY RLY COLD. Ask the rest to come into the water.But, they kinda refused .__.
Then,while Jayme was playing wif pebbles along the pool, she feel into the pool.I was like HAHAHAHHAHA.She was wet and needed to lend a shirt frm me to prevent exposing her "stunning" body as she describes.LOLS.The rest finally came into the pool to swim after much persuading.Swam arnd..30mins..and we were like..omGOSH.Security guards everywhere.
We weren't suppose to be in the pool..Expecially if Sam was in bermudas and Koh ba in Jeans
-___- Then we got asked to get out of the pool.So we went to the toilet to change.But,we kinda found out there was a sauna.So we popped in.The sauna was in the toilets..so the 2 girls went theirs and Sam and me went to ours.While we were "sweating" inside..A guard came and ask which unit we stayed.Sam found an excuse and told the guards our fren is having tuition upstairs and we r waiting for him.O Father Lord,pls forgive our sins T_T .
We initially got kicked out then.After tt,we went to West Mall and i played some arcade games.
Well..i was pretty off form . Then Jayme went to buy PASSION OF THE CHRIST.Cried whn I watched it at the camp. T_T Jesus , Ur blood was for me. So after tt we went to Jayme's house
to watch the movie & did our prayer meeting.It was a fun day and i learnt a lot frm the camp and frm my frens. HALLELUJAH!

Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you,your heavenly Father will also forgive you. O Father Lord,How we long to be with you in heaven.

My Naughty but Cute Didi!~

2007-06-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

Heya guys.

Now,imma rant bout wht has happened today!

Well..early in the morning while i was blogging,My bro came to disturb me.I was like..shoo shoo!

Then he kept quiet and sat beside me while i linked MichelleMitz's blog. Which is the 1st link to my links' list.=)). Then at the blog,there was her pic.I wasnt looking at it..then my bro told me..Whoa Aunty har?Hes onli like..3?and he doesnt noe much so.Sry Mitz!!So he stared at the pic while i did the linking codes.Then he bugged me and told me .."Take photo!!".Then i was like..-_______-.. Anyways..i did take 1 or 2 for him.. Well..tts the pose he did.He copied Michelle's pose!LOL.i was like.WTHeck?ur sure a fast learner. -__-.Then it was raining..so i went to Basketball training late wif the excuse tt i didnt have an umbrella.After that,i went to training..And as usual..3 rounds of the canal.Then my coach and Teacher in charge doubt me tt i went somewhere else purposely. -_____- . Wrongly accused.But in the end , they have no proof to hold their grounds to their accusation..so they juz kept quiet.It was tiring..the whole training..

Made me feel like vomiting..Now im home relaxing..But im still dead beat.Alright.tts all for today.

Psalms 3:7 Arise,O Lord!Deliver me, O my God!Strike all my enemies on the jaw;break the teeth of the wicked. Hallelujah.Your grace and love is everlasting for all eternity.Love you God!

Special Thanks to JAYME

2007-06-12T11:56:00.000+08:00

Special Thanks to JAYME!For helping me solve my blog probs!
Yays =)) THANK YEWWWW

Day Out Wif Mum~

2007-06-12T10:07:00.001+08:00

Hey Hey!Im back! =))
Now,Im gonna rant bout the day out wif my MUM! MuaHaHas!~
Well,it was pretty fun .First i went to Vivo City to meet my mum and 2 other of her frens.
thn,we decided to watch the movie Oceans Thirteen there.Well,guess wht,we didnt watch the show at vivo ._.
Well..Its coz the 2 shows available which is arnd..6.30 and 7.20? had onli front row seats left and i was wondering if in a BIG BIG theatre at Vivo,wouldnt we be lifting our heads up to watch the movie?so we thought..NAH..
Then we dicided to go to the nearby trusty , BUGIS!!
well..Bugis is boring..but at least the cinema isn't so crowded.. =xx
So we watched the movie there.It was kinda funny if u understood wht they mean.
Oh i like the Danny and Rusty guy.They both r like..Borned to be brothers.When they talked,
They knew wht each other was gonna say ..so it was like..
Rusty,"So who do we ...(he was gonna say bribe) Danny cuts in and says ,"The mechanic so that we can gain access to their security and he can...(rig their machines) Rusty,"But its gonna be hard.".
They speaked like tt so it was pretty much interesting.Then i smsed Jie Ming to tell him bout the show.He told me there were loose ends whr the plans havent been covered..well..I dunno..
Then i did my quiet time after my shower when i got home.Learnt about loving one another
as the God loves u.Then i rmbed to forgive trespasses of my enemies and to love them too.So i did prayed for 1 which i did hate a lot.But,i forgive him. =))) . Yee Seng!I won't blame u for backing out at the chalet anymore..well..at least ur gonna pay me =xx LOL.I Prayed for Weiwei's exams,Dawn and the others in malaysia for a safe trip return,Ah Yi for his marathon and stuff liddat. =))
Then i went on MSN to chat wif my frens and i saw WeiWei on.So i popped by to chat wif her.
We discussed about planning the CG outing whn i suggested BBQ.Initially..she was okay wif the idea,But cg mates,pls do give other suggestions if u haf better ones =) . Then Koh ba added me in msn.So i added her to my chat.At a part of the chat, She was like.. lolololela and speaking in wierd languages? So i joked and told her..u Speaking in tongues? Ahahas.Then
Weiwei went to study and Koh Ba went to sleep.Alright!tts the end of my day which ended like..1.45? .

Now to end off the post.
John 15:12 My command is this:Love each other as I have loved you.
This verse means alot. =)). HALLELUJAH JESUS!WE ALL LOVE YOU AND LONG TO SING WITH YOU IN HEAVEN!

JuzStartingOut~

2007-06-11T14:28:00.000+08:00

Howdy~
This is my first post,and yes,first personal blog.
Couldnt think of a name for my blog so i juz crapped ._.
Anyways!Dunno if this skin is suitable for a guy or not,But i'll make do with this first.
Alrighty~
First things first!im new at these blog stuff,please,do give me advice to improve on my blog.
There will be afew dedications on my posts to God as i love him and wish to involve him in the things i do as much as possible!

June 10.
Went to Church today to attend my Discipleship lessons wif Jie Ming and WeiWei.I'd like to thank them for spending their time teaching me stuff and guiding me along my Christian path =)). When i reached the Church cafe and saw WeiWei.She went hi and i wasn't really feeling well..so yea,i waved back at her.Then i found out Koh Wei & Jayme was working there.It was cool,Sunday cafe and discipleship lessons. i was kinda looking forward to the lesson.
Then Jayme and Koh Wei came and sat wif me at the table.And i was reminded to prepare for the lesson.AND i actually forgot i was suppose to memorise verse 3:22 Romans "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Chirst to all who believes.There is no difference. They told me Jie Ming would hack me if i didnt memorize it.So,i did as i was told .
Let u guys to a secret. The cafe's bee hoon was kinda nice O.O.Then Ah Yi Came.We bought the beverage "Anything" and tried it.Ah Yi got Coke and i kinda got detergent ._.
You should have seen the facial expression of WeiWei when she tried my detergent.LOL.
It tastes like..Detergent,+7up + raspberry favour .. So it was , of course YUCKY.
Then Jie Ming came and started the lesson with me and WeiWei.Pretty enjoyable day xDD
Alright.Ill End today's post here.Sry if i sounded boring.I'll improve it step by step .Do , give me advice =)).

Psalms 38:15 I wait for you, O Lord; You will answer, O Lord my God.
I Love You Lord, My God. Hallelujah!