Friday, August 10, 2007 (10:51:00 PM)
Taking a Break
Heya Dudes and Dudettes!Im taking a break frm the short story . Anyways , Thx to Mal's mom for bringing me out for dinner for the past week. First it was Pizza Hut which almost cost up to $100! And ytd was Sakae Sushi . It was fun . And i must admit , I do envy such a heart warming family.. hahas ..
Anyways , I don't know why.. but .. this lonely and sad feeling juz keeps creeping up on me for no reason. It might sound absurd but .. I cant forget the feelings I had for a girl i once had a crush on during my primary 6 days .. hahas..
Miss those days in malacca with her too.. Wells, i miss my friend Wang Cai whom passed away due to a car accident .. Its been awhile now .. Hes those kinda super optimistic person who feels no despair even at the worst case senarios . Suddenly , Kept singing ..
Its funny when you find urself , Looking from the outside . Im standing here , but all i want is to be over there .. How could I let myself believe miracles could happen .. But now i have to pretend that i dont rly care..
Then i rmb-ed . This phrase .. Memories are nice. But thats just what they are..
Keep it in your hearts and it will be sentimental .. I dont know why.. i feel emo today.Just like pastor Daniel said , this feeling creeps up on you sometimes..
I feel like climbing up the highest mountain and scream out to my heart's content. I think im under spiritual attack .. But im gonna keep a low profile now .. had a thought .. wondering if i should continue serving God .. i dont know .. But i told myself , even if i dont serve God , i wont serve Satan .. But then again .. Is this rly inevitable? I feel so empty inside all of a sudden ..
Whrs all the " God i give my heart & my life to you feeling" gone to?Did i eat it up or did my lies cover it up..? I loathe Satan .. so much i wanna tear his face apart.. For if there wasnt him the world wouldnt be dying like it is now .. Even me ..i feel like im dying..spiritually.. Argh .. headaches .. I think i'll just calm down abit before i do anything stupid ..
1john1:9 If we confess our sins,He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness .
This Christianity walk is just like .. Imagine
You are hanging over a clift with a hand . You feel exhausted . You look below and you see a plot of land filled with gold coins and delicacies enough to satisfy all your desires . But If you go down , you might break a leg or two and die without anyone knowing. You have no energy to climb up yourself. Then , here comes a man in white who seems so peaceful. He then reaches out his hands waiting for you to grab it so that he can pull you up.But you are afraid .He is a stranger and you wouldnt dare look at him in the face.. He is God . When we are in times of need , he will reach out his helping hand to pull you up . But , we sometimes , stubbornly , refuse his help and to the extent , we sometimes wanna run away from him.. Gahh.. ive been thinking too much .. my headache is getting worst .. I think ill end it here.. Til then , Derrick
